“In This Land, To Be a Woman”
I don’t know if being a woman is difficult everywhere in the world. But one thing is certain: it’s definitely hard in our part of the world. Especially when you consider that people still celebrate just because a baby is born male. :)
The “YOU ARE THE ONE” image that boys are given from birth – doesn’t that already make us women start life 1 – 0 behind?
As for me, I grew up in a modern, more egalitarian family compared to many traditional Turkish households. But then life said, “You didn’t experience this inequality? Come, let me show you,” and here I am, experiencing the very thing most Turkish women go through in relationships.
Is it hard? Yes. Exhausting? Absolutely.
And what makes it worse is that we women – who are already a bit more emotionally delicate by nature – are paired with men raised by mothers who constantly tell them, “You are everything.”
So what happens next?
Those who can adapt continue; those who can’t fall away.
And after that?
That’s where the real story begins, in my opinion. Add societal pressure to a woman who’s already spiritually drained; add financial insecurity if she has none; and finally add the unpredictable, unstable behavior men often show after a breakup… honestly, any woman who survives all that without ending up in a psychiatric ward deserves an award.
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And these are the mild scenarios I’m describing. There are, of course, more extreme cases – violence and other situations I can’t even bring myself to name – that also happen in this region.
So yes… in short, in our culture, it’s always the women who pay the price.
I could approach this topic in a much deeper, psychological way, actually. I’ve been going to therapy regularly every month for eight years. Or even just by looking at the women around me.
How, you ask?
Because whether she’s the most modern or the most conservative, whether she lives in a village or a city, whether she’s from here or another country – whenever I sit and talk with them for work, the stories that touch me, the ones I end up internalizing without meaning to, always revolve around the same thing: Why are women oppressed this much?
Something needs to be done – something that actually makes a difference.
But what?
That’s where I feel helpless.
I won’t make this any longer.
To anyone reading this: you’re not alone. Maybe you’ll find a piece of yourself in these words.
Or maybe no one will read it at all, and it will stay here forever like a diary – just a piece of me left behind…
