Reflecting on: Beginnings
Welcome to my therapy.
At least something that a therapist recommended I do about seven years after it was suggested to me.
Will I stick with it this time? Who knows. I have tried writing personal journals before. On tumblr before the “great cleanup” of 2018.
I also have tried hand writing my journals, but I despise my handwriting so much that I often give up. I also likely have carpal tunnel, which first started the second semester of my freshman year of college, or roughly 16 years ago. So, my had easily falls asleep and has pain.
All I can say is that I am definitely writing under a pseudonym. And most of what I write here will be free flowing stream of consciousness. Unlike others who write on Medium who I have read, nothing will be heavily researched. It’s just a place to get my thoughts out.
I have decided to call each entry “Reflecting on” because that is what I will be doing. Reflecting on some thought that passed by in my head. So, this is my first entry. My beginning.
I will provide some factual information about myself, even though I am writing with a pen name.
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I have a career in journalism, despite always feeling out of my depth. That good ol’ imposter syndrome.
You see, I went to a college and my major was communications. I did not attend a J-school, even though there was one 30 minutes away. I also did not have the forethought or advisers to help me understand that the course catalog of your freshman year was the catalog you should follow for your four years.
So, I ended up choosing classes that while within my major and minor, did not adequately prepare me for a career. I took one class multiple times over because it was the only print journalism class. I was naïve and thought that print journalism would adjust accordingly to the internet age of the mid- to late-2000s.
Then the 2008 economic downturn hit. It would be five years before I found a steady job in my degree field working for a newspaper in a town of less than 3,000 people, making less than $20k per year. I am no longer at that job. I have moved on a couple times since then. Still make well below the median for people in my field within my state.
I always have managed to pay my bills, but damn, sometimes I feel as if I need to retake the personal finance classes I took in high school. Nothing like having at least $37,000 of debt among student loans, credit cards and lines of credit for car repairs and new furniture purchases.
I am lowballing because I don’t actually know how much debt I have. That is just my best rough estimate.
See, told you this would be string of consciousness writing.
OK. Back to my original thought. Beginnings.
And now I’m drawing a blank on what to type next. Of course.
