The What Now Phase…
Patience is a virtue I barely have. My first reaction to having to wait for something is to do nothing. It’s anti productive. I want to lay in my bed, stiff as a board and let time pass until something happens. I think this actually stretches the time to be longer, feeling every waking moment pass with no distractions other than meditating and second rate Netflix shows.
In this case that something is my first book, A Practical Guide to Living in the 5th Dimension.
To give you a synapsis of how this book came to be, I’ve been thinking about writing a book similar to the American Girl Doll book from my childhood, “The Care and Keeping of You” for starseeds. A lightworker’s guide to understanding themselves and energy.
It’s been on my mind for 5 years now. I’ve always tried to talk other people into writing the book. Turns out, if an idea is meant for us to bring into the world, we’ll be energetically clubbed over the head with the idea into submission, or at least that’s how this went for me.
To give you just one example; I was at an in-treatment program in Florida, FHE, and one day I woke up to my spirit guide saying plain as day, “I’m trying to tell you, you’re the lead singer of a very famous band. We need the book.”
Imagine that, first thing in the morning and you’re energetically clubbed over the head with your spirit guide shouting at you that your wildest dreams are going to come true, but first I have to summarize everything I’ve ever learned about energy, God, and the 5th Dimension into a book.
WTF. Who wrote my life script anyways. That happened in July 2022. It is currently, February 14th, 2024.
I just published and sent for proofs of my first complete book, “A Practical Guide to Living in the 5th Dimension”. Thank you for the round of applause. I have been content for a total of 30 minutes since hitting publish on Amazon’s KDP set up.
I still need to proof read the book, in print, and let other’s provide feedback.
The double entendre is now what??? HOW DO I BECOME THE LEAD SINGER OF A VERY FAMOUS BAND???
When I first tried my Hummingbird guitar at Guitar Center in Florida, the moment I held it, I felt my solar plexus chakra come to life with energy and a flash of knowing that one day I would be plugging in on a very big stage somewhere.
I’ve had visions and energetic moments of feeling the main stage as a reality.
So I wrote the book. “In divine timing” my guide just said.
I am really proud to say I wrote my first book. Since I was 8 years old I knew I would write a book. I thought my book was going to be like Chelsea Handler’s. Risqué retellings of saucy stories.
Turns out… opposite side of the spectrum… it’s an accumulation of every energetic theory I can think of factually stacked one on top of the other to provide substantial evidence of the scientific proof that the 5th Dimension exists.
The litmus’ test will be seeing if the book can convince my devote Catholic Grandma that their is a 5th Dimension that we can all choose to plug into.
The question remains… How, when, and in what order do I become the lead singer of a very famous band???
Me right now waiting for someone to tell me I’m the lead singer of their band.
On top of all of this. Three out of three energy workers have told me I am going to viral.
So I am just literally trying to be calm, chill and connected with these facts in mind wondering day by day if it’s my turn to go viral yet or what?
All I’m asking is how, why, when and where does this all happen.
I feel like I got to the pearly gates of my love song writing this book and I don’t know what comes next.
The only thing of substance, energetically, still not checked off the list is going to Grad School to learn how to make an actual business out of the business model I hacked from the 4-Hour Work Week.
Invert the pyramid scheme and help the next person up with seed money to help them launch their business.
There. Done. Can someone please tell me when I get to actually be famous for talking because I have a lot to say and this waiting game sucks.
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I know a large part of this has been about finding out my diagnosis of bipolar 1 and getting on the right medication but, fuck. This sucks now. It really sucks now.
I’m waiting for my cat to possibly come home. I let him go in New York when I thought there was a hit on me. It’s just starting to hit me the last two weeks how much that fucking sucks.
I’ve been thinking oh, my untreated bipolar is not that bad. But oh my God. Letting my favorite thing in the world go because of a delusion I was living in is really bad. I miss my baby. He would say the cutest things ever and I miss Gypsy Cat so much it makes me cry every time I do a meditation.
I was just able to link his micro chip to my name too little to late. I hope I know Gypsy Cat like I think I do and I hope he goes to the vet soon and has his chip scanned so I can pick him up. But I don’t know if that will happen.
I hate living without a pet. It’s the worst.
So here I am, alone in a big house, with my book finally publishing, no clue in the world when I’m going to go viral, and hoping Gypsy Cat calls me.
I suck- no this situation sucks.
And it’s Valentine’s Day and I’m single- but that’s like 100th on a list of things that suck right now.
It’s hard that things that should be really good are usually diluted by sad facts casting a shadow on the light.
I just wish I had Gypsy back. It sucks to live without a pet. I can’t have a pet where I’m living now so I have to move.
And around it goes but yay, I published a book I’ve been procrastinating for a year and a half.
I’ve given up so much of my life to listening to spirit guides instead of people. It really hurts. The past two years have really hurt. So I’m just hoping it finally works out and the shittiest parts are over.
It sucks to know I have a big mission here on Earth, but I haven’t reaped the rewards yet. It really sucks. I just hope I’m let off my karmic chain now that I wrote the book they needed me to write.
If I get Gypsy Cat back, that would be one of the biggest gifts ever. That’s so fucked up I let him go. He wanted to be released. I was running literally like a crazy person through Manhattan thinking I was going to be shot. I let him out of his bag and he ran. I figured I’ll see your spirit where ever I end up, because animal spirits keep coming back to us.
Now that I’m back in reality, I’m crying about it. A lot. I miss my precious cat.
I can’t even add a picture I’m so fucking sad.
So I guess all I’m asking the spirit world is can I please have my cat back and can you stop making promises to me that I can’t handle not happening now. I wrote your book and I want to have friends and live a nice life now. Not fumble through the jungle like a wild animal to write all of this down for you. If this book is another false promise there’s nothing I can do but I’ll sure be very deeply truly fucking sad and over it.
Music isn’t even coming through me right now. Maybe that’s part of the reason I’m so sad. Guitar does help me to process and move through emotions.
I do need an emotional support animal. That is part of my recovery and life. I do not do well without one.
I didn’t think this was going to turn into an article about Gypsy but that’s what’s been on my mind recently.
Crying because I miss my cat. And realizing how Bipolar I am and how far has taken me down the rabbit hole at times.
Thanks for reading.
Happy Valentine’s Day : (
P.S. my tarot did say he’ll come back. So I just pray it’s soon.
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Techno Yogaa is the intersection of music, movement, and recovery.
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