Why I Never Joined a Sorority
“You shall have no other gods before Me.” — Exodus 20:3 (NKJV)
Over the last several years, I’ve become increasingly grateful for Christian leaders who have been willing to have difficult conversations about fraternities and sororities and whether they align with a biblical worldview. Those conversations didn’t create my convictions, they confirmed many of the questions I had already been wrestling with.
One experience, in particular, forever changed how I viewed Greek life.
While attending San José State University, one of my closest friends pursued membership in Alpha Kappa Alpha. She was considered a “legacy,” meaning her mother was also a member. From the outside, many people assume legacy status makes the process easier, but what I witnessed was heartbreaking.
I watched someone I deeply loved endure what I perceived as emotional mistreatment and humiliation during the underground membership process. The secrecy surrounding it disturbed me. The breaking down of someone’s identity in order to build them back up never reflected the character of Christ to me.
Jesus never taught His followers to humiliate one another to earn belonging.
As I learned more about the historical roots, symbolism, rituals, and secrecy associated with these organizations, my discomfort only grew. The secret oaths, ceremonial traditions, ritualistic elements, and the level of allegiance expected raised questions that I could no longer ignore. Personally, I became convinced that these things were incompatible with my understanding of Scripture and the worship God alone deserves.
I also worked in the Student Leadership and Engagement Department at San José State University, where I saw another side of campus organizations. Some Greek organizations repeatedly faced disciplinary action, suspensions, and investigations because of conduct issues. Watching those patterns made me ask an honest question:
If an organization repeatedly produces abuse, hazing, secrecy, bullying, or exclusion, should followers of Christ simply accept those things as tradition?
I don’t believe so.
Looking back, I also believe many people join these organizations with sincere intentions. They aren’t looking for evil. They’re looking for family, mentorship, identity, opportunity, and belonging.
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Those desires are understandable.
As descendants of slavery, many Black Americans have inherited generations of fractured identity, exclusion, and the need to create community where society denied it. I understand why historically Black fraternities and sororities became deeply meaningful to so many people. I don’t dismiss that history or the real good that many members have accomplished in their communities.
But I also believe that good intentions don’t automatically make every tradition spiritually healthy.
For me, the question ultimately became: What does God ask of me?
As I’ve matured in my faith, I’ve realized that discipleship often means surrendering things that are deeply woven into our culture, our family traditions, or even our personal dreams. Sometimes obedience requires us to let go of things that once made us feel seen, valued, or protected.
Scripture repeatedly warns believers against idolatry — not only the worship of carved images, but allowing anything to compete with our complete devotion to God.
I know this perspective won’t be popular. I also know there are many sincere Christians whom I love and respect who remain members of Greek-letter organizations. This isn’t written to condemn anyone or question their salvation.
It’s simply my testimony.
I’m grateful God gave me discernment before I joined. I’m grateful for the believers who challenged me to search the Scriptures for myself. And I’m grateful that more people today are courageously sharing why they, too, have chosen to walk away.
My prayer is that every believer would be willing to examine every tradition, every ritual, every organization, and every identity through the lens of God’s Word, not our emotions, not our culture, and not our attachments.
As parents, mentors, pastors, and leaders, we have a responsibility to teach the next generation how to discern truth. Proverbs tells us to “train up a child in the way he should go.” That means preparing our children to seek Christ above every organization, every title, and every earthly identity.
At the end of the day, our deepest identity is not found in letters, colors, affiliations, or traditions.
It is found in Christ alone.
“If you love Me, keep My commandments.” — John 14:15
May we all have the humility to surrender whatever God asks us to lay down and the courage to follow Him completely.
