AA Recovery, Al-Anon Wisdom, and a Much-Needed Reality Check
The Al-Anon speaker at the AA conference was fantastic.
He went through the Al-Anon “20 Questions,” noting that if you answered “yes” to even one, living with a sick person was likely making you sick, too.
I’ve always considered my wife “severely normal.”
She doesn’t hold grudges, has a normal relationship with alcohol, and is a genuinely nice person. My AA friends even call her “the saint” — mostly for her community work, though a few joke it’s because she puts up with me.
How the Family Disease of Alcoholism Plays Tricks on Recovery Thinking
But as the speaker read the questions, my mind played tricks on me.
What I heard was:
- Do you feel like a failure?
- Do you feel angry, confused, or depressed?
- Do you feel misunderstood?
I mentally answered “yes” to three of them.
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Suddenly, I realized I qualified for Al-Anon three times over.
Naturally, my mind raced to find the culprit.
Who is causing this?
Our sons are grown and gone. My parents have passed, and my siblings live in another city.
That left only my wife.
I concluded that, despite all appearances, she must be secretly sick, and it was spreading to me as a family disease.
A Sponsor’s Reality Check Restored My Sanity
Fortunately, I was sitting next to my sponsor.
When I whispered this logic to him, he paused for a moment, and then slapped me.
Honestly, I needed that.
It was the perfect reality check.
I immediately regained my sanity and remembered that my wife is as wonderful as she has always been.
