The Back-to-School Trend That Missed the Point
It’s that time of year again. Summer is winding down, and back-to-school shopping, supply lists, and lunchbox content have officially taken over everyone’s feeds.
Last year I wrote “Back to School, But Make It Make Sense,” about the outrage over school supply lists. Specifically, the parents who were angry that teachers were asking for tissues, crayons, glue sticks, and classroom supplies while schools continue to be underfunded.
Like I wrote then, I understood the financial stress.
As a mama of four, back-to-school shopping wasn’t something I looked forward to. It was expensive, stressful, and required a lot of creativity. When layaway was still a thing, I used it every year. School supplies meant studying the weekly ads, clipping coupons, and driving to multiple stores because one place had notebooks on sale while another had the cheapest backpacks.
It wasn’t glamorous.
It was survival.
But I did it because that’s what my kids needed.
Not once did I make them feel guilty for needing new shoes, new clothes, or school supplies.
I wasn’t going to put that weight on their shoulders because I knew exactly what that felt like.
Growing up, there were times when I somehow felt responsible for costing money simply because I needed things. Like it was my fault I had outgrown my shoes or needed notebooks for school. I remember doing the math in my head as a kid, trying to figure out how to need less. How to ask for less. That’s not a math a child should ever have to do, and I wasn’t about to hand that homework down to mine.
Shit, I didn’t ask to be born.
Neither did my kids.
So I did everything I could to make back-to-school shopping exciting instead of stressful, even though at times it was. I still wanted them to remember picking out folders with their favorite colors, finding the perfect backpack, or getting that fresh pack of crayons. They didn’t need to know how many times I had rearranged my budget to make it happen. That’s a parent’s job too, the invisible part. The part nobody claps for.
That’s what parents do.
Or at least, that’s what I thought.
Unfortunately, in this very bad timeline, social media has convinced some people that everything needs to become content.
Even parenting.
Even your own kids.
There is one video making the rounds that perfectly captures this.
Thankfully, I never saw the original upload. I only saw the stitches and reaction videos, which honestly told me everything I needed to know.
Here’s the short version.
A mother took her teenage daughter back-to-school shopping to participate in one of those viral trends where your child picks a number of items based on the grade they’re entering. In this case, eleven items for eleventh grade.
The daughter looked a little unsure from the beginning. You could tell she wasn’t entirely comfortable with the camera in her face, but she went along with it. Her mom had told her she only had thirty minutes to shop.
So she picked out a few things.
Some leggings.
A shirt.
Pants.
Socks.
A beauty blender.
A phone case.
A book.
A few other items.
Then, after she placed the eleventh item into the cart, her mom told her to put everything back.
She wasn’t buying any of it.
The mom said she had other things to purchase and asked her daughter if she really thought she was going to participate in some “stupid trend.”
I’m sorry…
What?
Did the daughter ask to film the video?
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Did she pressure her mom into posting it online?
Did she force her mom to upload a private moment for millions of strangers to watch?
No.
The adult made every single one of those choices. Every single decision, from picking up the phone to hitting post, belonged to her. Not the daughter.
Then, when people criticized her for humiliating her daughter, she seemed shocked that the internet wasn’t on her side.
Again…
What?
Because this wasn’t about not being able to afford the clothes.
If money was tight, that’s one thing. There is absolutely no shame in telling your child, “We have a budget this year.”
Kids understand budgets.
What they shouldn’t have to understand is why their parent decided to turn that moment into entertainment for strangers.
That’s the part I can’t wrap my head around.
At what point did likes become more important than protecting your child’s dignity?
Since when did embarrassing your teenager become a content strategy?
There are enough people in this world ready to make our children feel small.
Why would their own parent volunteer for the job?
That’s what bothers me the most.
Not the shopping.
Not the trend.
Not even the camera.
It’s that somewhere along the way, social media convinced people that every family moment is potential content instead of simply being…a family moment.
Some memories belong in photo albums.
Some belong in your heart.
Some don’t belong online at all.
Back-to-school shopping should be about helping your child feel excited for a new year, not wondering if they’re about to become the punchline in their parent’s next viral video.
Because one day they’ll forget which backpack they picked.
They probably won’t forget how that shopping trip made them feel. And they definitely won’t forget who filmed it.
I think that’s why this one has stayed with me.
I know what it feels like to grow up believing that your needs are an inconvenience. To somehow feel responsible for the cost of simply existing. New shoes. School supplies. Clothes because you outgrew last year’s. Somewhere along the way, I absorbed the message that I was a burden.
My children didn’t ask to be born any more than I did.
That meant it was never going to be their job to carry the weight of adult problems. Did I have financial stress? Absolutely. Did I worry about bills, groceries, and making everything stretch? Every single year. But those were my burdens to carry, not theirs.
Was I a perfect mom? Of course not. No parent is. I made mistakes, lost my patience, and had days where I wished I had handled things differently. But one thing I was intentional about was protecting my kids. Especially online. I was always mindful about what I shared because one day they would become adults with their own lives, and I never wanted them to look back and wonder why their mom turned their vulnerable moments into entertainment.
That’s why I can’t understand videos like this. Because once something goes viral, you can’t take it back. Millions of strangers have now formed opinions about a child who never agreed to be part of the conversation. The internet moves on to the next trend, but that child still has to live with it.
People often say that a child’s first bully is sometimes their own parent. I hate that there’s enough truth in that statement for it to resonate with so many people, including myself.
The legacy I wanted to leave my children was different.
I wanted them to know that home was a safe place. That even when money was tight, they were never the problem. That needing clothes for school or supplies for class wasn’t something they had to apologize for. Children are supposed to be able to count on the adults who brought them into this world, not worry about becoming the punchline in their parent’s next viral video.
Because likes fade. Views stop climbing. The algorithm moves on.
But the way a parent makes their child feel?
That has a way of staying with them for a lifetime.
Ask me how I know.
