Starting Over?
In all of my blogs, I usually start by asking a question, but this time I want to do something different. I want to reset my writing pattern. I want to start over.
So, Starting over.
Um, this is going to take a while because I don’t know how to start without asking a question and then attempting to answer it. Maybe I should answer first? But won’t I have to decide the question first to answer? No. That would be the same pattern you fool, my inner self screams.
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I think I get it.
I hate starting over. It’s the answer. All these years, I did certain things in a certain way, and now I am forcing myself to do it a new way that I know nothing about? Yes, that’s the whole idea, my inner self whispered. Ugh, I hate starting over.
When I think about it, it’s not about writing anymore. Lately, life feels a little lost. I want to start over, but I don’t want to go through the whole process of starting all over again. You get me, Right? If you don’t, let me take you through. For example, as a little kid, all I wanted was a pink chocolate. I worked very hard to earn that pink chocolate. I dreamt about that pink chocolate all these years, thinking how yum it would taste. My friends and family also saw that desperation and did everything they could to help me get that. And after years of dreaming, working hard, and finally earning that pink chocolate, it should have tasted like heaven, right? I thought the same. I carefully opened that pink wrapper, all excited, and one bite of it, and suddenly I felt nothing. I mean Nothing. Don’t get me wrong, just because I did not feel anything doesn’t mean it tasted bad. It was just not to my liking. Suddenly, I started having lots of thoughts which go like- Shouldn’t I have gone for the blue candy? Maybe I should try the pink again; it should taste better on the second try. I think I should force myself to like it now; I have come too far now.
If you look closely at my train of thought, you would see they are more inclined towards rescuing the damage instead of starting over. It is fair enough too. We, humans, are very hopeful beings. I have observed this, but it is conditional. The condition is that emotions should be invested. Walking away and starting over means accepting the loss of time, efforts, energy, and all the dreaming. You know it has a fancy name, too. It’s called the sunk cost fallacy. Accepting the decision did not work out as we had fantasized; it seems like a first step towards escaping the sunk cost fallacy.
Now, the main question? What should I do with the pink chocolate?
I think I’ll try to keep it aside for some time and think of it as an achievement rather than a mistake because it did shape me as the person I am today. And start thinking about getting that orange candy, because why not? It looks tempting right now, and life is too long to keep falling for the sunk cost.
