Dealing with Bad Roommates
My father always has told me, “there are going to be people in this world you do not get along with, and that’s life”.
Since I was a kid, I have always had a hard time understanding that people could not like me. It does not mean something is wrong with me, or that the other is a terrible person some people just will never see eye to eye. And that is okay, as my dad would say.
Right now in my life, like many of you may be, I am in college that is not in commuting distance from my home. With four years of housing necessary, you are bound to come across a roommate you do not fully get along with. Whether they are in the same room as you, or in the room next door, it is challenging. Here is a survival guide for dealing with unruly roommates.
- Keep your distance. As much as you might want to make things right, things may never be just right. I’ve found that to avoid confrontation is best for the sake of the other people that live with me.
2. Communicate clearly, nicely, and concisely. While keeping your distance, if they are doing something that is intolerable, you need to let them know their behavior is causing you ~agony~. DO NOT DO THIS WHEN YOU ARE HEATED; it will make tensions worse between you. If you remember nothing else, please take this away from this read.
3. Set the expectations. If you do not want them having sex in the communal shower, let them know! If you tell them things that will potentially bother you in the future can help limit conflict later.
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4. Present solutions and use I statements. “I think it’s great you dance naked to Jamaican music, but I would appreciate it if you did not do it while my dad is visiting, but afterwards is fine”. You understand where they are coming from, and you also posed a solution of when they can do the things that they want to do.
5. Remember, they live there too! Sometimes I think it is really easy to lose track of the fact that your home is also their home. You need to respect what they want to in their own home as well. (Unless they’re like my roommate and want the AC on 74 degrees, then ignore this statement).
Having a roommate is like dating, you need to compromise in order to keep the peace. But at the end of the day…
Just remember, some people suck, and it sucks you had to sign your lease before you got a chance to see what this person was really like, but life does not suck. It’s not you, it’s them.
