Loop
At this point, I feel I am either studying for an exam, recovering from one, or I am too late to start studying for the next one.
Every moment of 11th Grade, I wanted to be in 12th Grade badly. Now that 12th Grade is here, I don’t want to be in this grade.
It’s either studying for the entrances or studying for my board exams. My friends and I have become academically competitive all of a sudden. No one has the time to hear someone out.
It’s either the tuition or the coaching centre that has become the place where I stay. My home is just a place where I come to sleep.
What if this all does not work out?
Get The Wandering Mind’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
What if I don’t get into the college of my choice?
My mom told me this at the start of my 12th grade (1 month ago) that whatever happens, it will all make sense.
The sense of uncertainty scares me.
What if my friends get into amazing colleges, and I am still here struggling to find one?
Whatever happens. Happens for good.
Hopefully, it will all make sense, and I will win this battle against myself.
Currently, I am stuck between my 10 textbooks, which I thought as a 10th grader would be easy to study. I always thought, “It’s just 5 subjects, how hard can it be?” Now I know how hard it is.
In between all this chaos, the only peace I get is writing my heart out without judgment.
