Member-only story
August 25, 2026
(trigger warning: bodies being gross, I guess? you get a cat pic at the end, though.)
I roll out of bed at 12:20 needing to piss like a racehorse. My Pavlok functioned this morning, but I have a hazy memory of flailing my arm around to approximate jumping jacks before going back to sleep. I crashed hard last night, not even pulling up Pokémon Sleep to keep track. Damn.
My bedroom is a disaster zone. I drink my probiotics, take my meds, and add my mucus-loosening tablet to a glass that I top up with Arizona green tea with honey. Breakfast is a Bifi, sort of a German Slim Jim. A half-empty bottle of low alcohol fruit wine I don‘t remember drinking is returned to the fridge.
Two sourdough vegan Dinkelbrötchen are once again tossed into the airfryer for lunch and dinner, respectively. When they’re done, I bring them into the bedroom, one on a plate for lunch and the other in a breadbox to close after cooling so the steam doesn’t make it soggy. They smell good.
I have a Concoction ready to drink: Macrogol, the stuff that’s supposed to “keep me regular”, dissolved in more Arizona tea. Added to that is a teaspoon of psyllium husk, alcohol-free bitter drops (which both taste and smell disgusting, but supposedly help with bloating), oily drops of vitamin D3+K2, and some edible pink glitter for funsies. Various chunks float around in it- eventually the psyllium husk will rehydrate into a thin gel, which would be disgusting to most people, but really isn’t too different…
