Significant Mambo

(Mambo No. 5 by Lou Bega)

Researchers and statisticians, P is less than 0.05!*

.01, .02, .03,4,5
The protocol’s done, so come on, randomise
FDA approval’s just round the corner
Biostats say ‘no post-hoc analyses’
But I really don’t wanna
Lose this drug if we haven’t a clue
Analyse deep cos trials ain’t cheap

Phase 3’s ANGELA, PAMELA, SANDRA and RITA
And as they continue, they not getting cheaper
So what can we do? I really beg you, Biostats
Drug development’s not like a sport
If nothing flies, it’s no good, gotta dump it
At least save the open-label TRUMPET

A little bit of masking at the start
A little bit of power, 0.8
A little bit of surrogate PFS
A little bit of all-cause mortality
A little bit of post-hoc by star sign
A little bit of crossing KM curves
A bit of Bonferroni, here I am
Less than .05 makes me your man