Live for Me She Said
How I’m still thinking about you years after you passed
When they said grief is something you can’t really understand until you feel it, I didn’t believe them. Until I had mine.
I wish I had a photo of you, a photo that truly captured what you meant to me. I wish I had something beautiful to hold onto. But most days, all I can think about is regret. I thought you would be here forever.
I wish I had brushed your hair when it started to tangle.
I wish I had cut your nails when your eyes began to darken.
I wish I had read the medicine for you.
I wish I had bought you the battery when you asked.
I wish I hadn’t gotten annoyed when you talked to me.
I wish I had shared my food with you.
I wish I had done all those small things,
the same things you did for me when I was five.
I wish I had been kinder to you.
It was your first time living in this world too.
Get r’s stories in your inbox
Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.
I still remember how excited you were when you told us about your youth How you crossed the sea to another island just to find a job.
I still remember your smile when you talked about your childhood, about your parents and your siblings, what you did and the way they treated you.
But one thing I’ve forgotten now is your voice, and I really hate that.
I miss how you comforted me after Mom scolded me.
I miss how you were always there for me, through everything.
And I hate that I wasn’t there for you the same way,
even though we were under the same roof.
Oh Grandma, forgive me for everything.
I was so careless with my words.
I didn’t realize how much they could hurt you,
And somehow, you still chose to love me.
Oh Grandma…
You said you wanted to be the first person to see me on my first day of work.
I’m still just a freshman now.
Where are you, Grandma?
