there is judgement in unsteady hands
tipping the scales would be a good decision
as it provides me insight for the decision
but if i lean too much
i fall into the abyss
and the height above would be too far
for me to reach again
my feet will slip and i will stumble
i would lose oxygen from how i hold my breath
my vision will become blurry
and later that night
the guilt and shame will haunt me
so i cannot go extreme
i must stay steady
i must stay neutral
but that in itself is extreme
stay in one place too much
and the rope stretches and snaps
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the audience will laugh and point
i would weep and crumble under the spotlight
i have failed once more
just as certainty has been attained
but i have never attained it at all
only the illusion of steady hands
balancing on a wavering rope
what can i do?
i cannot decide
i cannot make a move
when the final switch is turned off
i would look back and see
that there was never a height
there was a never an audience
and there was never any light
pushing me down onto my knees
the only weight that was ever tipping the scales
was my brain going against me
