Chronicles of the Mafia...
Perhaps I am where wandering souls go when they don’t have a map to guide them home—twenty-three with no one to call my own, designated and alone.
I remember the day I made the decision to leave home. Sitting on the balcony with great conviction on that faithful sunny day, I decided there was no point thinking about spring during the dry season; I had too much at stake. How would I cross the flood when the rains came?
Mother had long taken to drinking after Dad left; she had decided to no longer deal with reality; she had given him everything—love, affection, cash, and a little bit of her soul—she traded her life for his own.
I watched with cloudy eyes and a dazed mind as my life giver walked out the door and the other drowned herself in liquor. She had nothing else to give.
Love is one twisted game that turns the wheels of fate; at first, it’s like a drug that’s intoxicating and addictive. You keep purchasing that drug just to feel the effect, even if you know it brings you closer to death.
The one you once vowed to cherish forever looks at you with disdain as the feelings start to fade. For better or worse are just whispered words, uttered as a binding ritual to your forever; only no one told you for-ever is just till you get the courage to finally end your holy matrimony, with one half dead and the other on a path to find himself.
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The product is a girl who lives to tell the tale of poverty, insecurity, and issues that run deep. Forced to listen to the screams from the kitchen floor and the curses that follow after the slam of the bedroom door.
But don’t think you know me just because of a little narration; I am everything but what others try to define me. I refuse to be the product of a broken home, a carrier of no soul.
I long decided within me to let it all go, like a phoenix; I rise from the ashes, from the pain that tried to define me. I don’t know what happiness is, but what I do know is that I’ll find it. Although not with another person, I know how that ends.
So I currently work for a cleaning company as a maid, doing whatever it takes to break out of that cage, but fate is a twisted game. I opened the wrong door one day, and now I’m face to face with the devil, Mr. Gambino.
The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree because, like my mother, I have attracted scum to me. I stare at the gun he points at my face and wonder if this is my last day…
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