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“The Talk” is a Process, Not An Event
When I was growing up, in the context in which I grew up (in the 1970s and 1980s, in an area of lily-white folks of mixed economic class), if someone used the phrase “the talk,” they were referring to the one about sex. You know the one. In that time, if you got it at all, your parents sat you down, maybe with a book, and from a place of mortified near-incapacitation, explained “the birds and the bees” as briefly and cursorily as they possibly could. If they got to you early, maybe they told you something you didn’t already know. More likely, the talk happened because they could no longer avoid it after you got a hard-on at the pool, or got your first period and assumed you were dying, or your mom (or worse, your DAD) found your stash of dirty magazines. The 70s being the 70s, some of my cohort were fortunate enough to get a couple of books and a couple of talks.
I am the daughter of a woman whose 38-year career as a sex educator brought her a modicum of notoriety and an appearance on Oprah. And I have news for you: “The Talk” was never supposed to be a one-off.
AASECT, the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists, asserts in its position paper on sex education that it should be factually accurate, age-appropriate, and culturally competent. Now, particularly with regard to that second one, doesn’t it stand to reason that it’s…
