Thursday: Feeling Drained
Following the auction from start to finish is mentally and emotionally draining. It is not stressful because I’m “chasing” this pig back and forth in an empty field. It is stressful because with each rotation, for hours on end, my brain is subconsciously updating the narrative taking place. Constantly evaluating each tick and shuttling it off into one box or another, the mind and will are tested.
Simultaneously, my conscious brain is demanding results. “Get in this trade, NOW. The market is about to move, for good. Get your cash back, immediately.” Giving my subconscious the time to update the narrative, while fighting against my conscious’s impetuous demands is totally draining.
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Success in this game requires silencing the monkey brain that is shouting at you to do “x,” or do “y,” and letting the subconscious reveal the the answers to a puzzle the conscious is too distracted to see. Don’t hate your conscious too much though: it has dragged your subconscious to this point by tooth and nail. Fighting for every fucking inch of unspoken understanding. It all starts with a conscious effort to digest something you’ve never known before. The conscious knows plenty about such battles.
Waging this war has gotten easier over the past 9 months, but Monday through Wednesday of this week, the war sapped my energy. Poor sleep Tuesday and Wednesday night certainly played their role. I was able to fend off the fatigue yesterday, but just did not have it in me this morning. We are still in the game and the game never ends.
#TGIF lets make some money tomorrow.
