WEEK IN REVIEW OCTOBER 16, 2026
· Half a Scaramucci! The length of time the newest Trump Administration press secretary (and Chinese lawyer-ish) lasted.
· What can’t vote or buy alcohol, but can get a serial numberless ghost gun, hundreds of rounds of ammo, and body armor without triggering a single surveillance state signal? A white neo-nazi teenager (who tried to shoot up a Hindu temple near Chicago). Please do not try this if you are Black.
· What can’t vote or buy alcohol, but was given a gun by his mom and subsequently shot up an elementary school, killing children? I think you know the rest, but again, do not try this if you are Black.
· Word problem. The city manager of Hollister gets paid $200,000 a year to manage the city and waits 9 months to tell everyone there is $178.00 left in the city’s checking account. If she is fired today, what is the overall value of her fraud, how many children will attend school on Monday and who will pay the crossing guard?
· The Washington Post is reporting that Matt Gaetz has been accused of sex trafficking young women. In related news, husband locates fork found in kitchen.
· Notwithstanding Pete Hegseth’s announcement that the execution of an inmate would be televised, Donald Trump has scrapped the idea. For those of you thinking this amounts to a shred of decency, news outlets are reporting that because the prisoner is in a wheelchair the President felt the “optics” weren’t good. It is an election cycle after all.
· A Greenwich, CT couple was arrested and charged with disorderly conduct after a country club mahjong tournament ended in a table-flipping brawl, because a player was accused of “counting tiles under the table.” The Chief of Police stated, “22 years working private events and I’ve never had to arrest a couple over a mahjong tournament.” The entire country of China now knows why Jesus wept.
· “Oops.” — Los Angeles DA’s office after judge tosses Tim Busfield’s sexual assault case on the grounds of prosecutorial misconduct.
· Apparently, Kate Gosselin is not happy about her son’s memoir which paints the reality tv star (known for exploiting her children for money) as exploiting her children for money.
· According to the Daily Beast, rumors abound about the former Greek ambassador’s “burn book” outlining the corruption in the Trump family. Kimberly, girl, maybe avoid taking busses, cars, planes, trains, and standing on balconies for the next, I dunno, 30 years.
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· News outlets are reporting that Diddy has been transferred to a new prison given his involvement in a prison fight. No word on whether the masseuses and cognac will go in a separate vehicle.
· Newsweek is reporting that US Treasurer Brandon Beach is asking the public to “get a roll of Trump dollar coins” that feature the president’s image on them and spend them at “liberal businesses.” So to be clear, you would like Trump supporters to give their money to liberal businesses?
· Former American Idol contestant, Caleb Flynn wept while his daughter read her victim impact statement at his sentencing for killing his wife. Your weekly reminder that divorce is a cheaper option.
· Answer there: this administration launched a pattern of harassment against an elected official, searching the official’s home and making public comment that the search was related to a “criminal” investigation, without actually noting who was the criminal or what the charge was. What is: the Trump Administration, which this week raided the home of elected official Ilhan Omar, claiming she is being investigated for criminal immigration irregularities. No, I’m sorry. It’s Nazi Germany under Hitler, which alleged conspiracy and criminal violations against social democratic deputies, and arrested them in order to keep them from voting to give Hitler emergency powers.
· Don’t want to get your peptides and GLP-1s on the black market, this week, the city of Berkeley opened “Hydration Room,” a chain of wellness clinics where you can get IV therapies, testosterone replacement, and GLP-1s in a relaxed environment. Doctors Schmoctors! I’ll take mine with a pickle back.
· A political group supporting Maine Senator Susan Collins spent $25,000 placing campaign ads in Portland. Unfortunately for her, it was in Portland, Oregon, but there’s something about all of this that just makes sense.
· “Given Trump’s belief we can rename things, I’m hereby changing ‘measles’ to ‘RFK Jr.’ because he’s the reason it still exists.” — Governor Andy Beshear.
· KTLA in Los Angeles reported this week that frequent napping is linked to higher dementia. Rumor has it the study was paid for by Capitalism. Now, get back to work.
· Selma Blair was arrested on October 11 for assaulting a Delta flight attendant (and later officers and a nurse), and is speaking out. In her defense, she says, she admits she drank and was on meds, but says she’s bit people before and it wasn’t a big deal. Ma’am, you need a better attorney and mouth tape.
· Democracy Now reports that the Pentagon is going to withhold internal investigations relating to the bombing of an Iranian school until after the midterms. If you are smart enough to solve this riddle, congratulations, you’re probably a democrat.
Guys, the midterms are here. Please please vote. Every day things get worse and while I’m the first person to admit I thought there was a bottom to this administration, I must eat my hat (given the Constitution has already been shredded and sprinkled on the backs of blue collar workers). Our only hope is the one thing we have left: the vote. Let’s move! What are you drinking?
