The Courage to Ask for Help
For millennia humans have relied on each other to survive. Helping each other is at the very core of what it means to be human.
So then, why do people shy away from asking for help? Is it because we are afraid of burdening others, or don’t feel that we deserve to be helped? Perhaps we are too proud to ask for help, as if being independent is something to be proud of. Whatever the reason, asking for help takes courage.
The modern world pushes self sufficiency. We can order food, catch a ride, be entertained, earn our living, all without ever speaking to another person. This independence has left a lot of us feeling lost, and disconnected from life. Perhaps we have forgotten that we were not meant to do this all alone.
In a world where independence is celebrated, vulnerability is shamed.
Many of us view vulnerability as weakness, being a burden or being incompetent. I’m not sure how or why, but it’s been put in our heads that we must be fierce, independent, and unshakeable. I can’t imagine where this idea has come from, but it doesn’t make sense for us to be like that all the time. You can’t be solid as a rock yet afraid to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is a prerequisite for human connection, and human connection is vital for emotional strength, resilience and confidence. It takes courage to seek help.
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Being vulnerable is a gift to the person you are opening up to, it gives them the opportunity to be kind and compassionate .It gives them a purpose, even if it’s only momentary.
When you are asked for help it is as if someone is putting their hand out to you, giving you their complete trust, will you take their hand and help them?
What a privilege it is to be asked for help.
Asking for help presents a moment of genuine human connection, one that fosters trust and community. When we lack human connection we get stuck in our own worlds, our thoughts and perspectives stuck in a loop. When we invite other people into our lives we learn of their problems, instead of always fixating on our own. We also learn of their success, and are able to share our success with others.
Asking and receiving help from someone is how friendships develop. If you recently helped someone move houses, or gave them a lift, subconsciously you will feel more comfortable asking that person for help if you needed a ride to the airport. This rising of mutual dependence builds and sustains human relationships. Being able to trust someone to help you when you need it is an often overlooked, but incredibly important part of friendship.
Help is important for both parties. It’s important for the person being asked because it gives them a sense of value, meaning, and purpose. And it’s important for the person asking because we can only truly connect with each other when we aren’t afraid to be vulnerable. This connection fosters a shared experience of life. Being human is not a solo experience, at its best it’s a collaborative one.
The act of asking for help is one of the most human things we can do.
