Why Fast, I’ll feast for your good life !

I’ve been married for 9 years, and every Karwachauth I dress up a like newly wed, decked up in a saree, the sindoor, my mangalsutra, the works ! Heavily influenced by DDLJ growing up, I look at the moon through my Diya lit sieve, and then at Raghav. In DDLJ, Simran pretends to faint because of extreme exhaustion because of fasting, while Raj gives her the first sip of water of the day. Now, this is where my story changes. Raghav also gives me a sip of water (because im a sucker for anything cheesy), but unlike all the Bollywood heroines – I am not at the brink of exhaustion/hunger.

Just like other traditions, Raghav and I tweaked this one too. We go out for breakfast, we go out for lunch. We happily snack through the day. I told him year 1 – a HANGRY VIDHI is of no good, and I will be able to pray for our long marriage and his good health much better on a full stomach.

This year – I have an another mission. For all of you who have read the Karwa Chauth Katha, probably realise just how regressive and patriarchal it is. For the uninitiated – it goes something like this.

A married woman is fasting for karwachauth, but her brothers played a joke at her saying the moon had risen and she could now eat. Not realising, that they were lying, she eats, and as her first bite is taken – she gets the news of her husband falling seriously ill. She is made to feel guilty by everyone, and her mother in law blames her for her son’s ill health. After several months of regret, remorse and prayers, her husband finally wakes up and she vows to keep the annual fast till death do them part.

To avoid hurting any sentiments here, I am going to simply say – this fear inducing story does not go down well with me. And so – every year while I am read this katha (AFTER having a full meal), I mentally count ways I love and care for Raghav and how I am a good wife.

This year – I am hoping to replace the Katha with my renewed vows for our marriage. This is to re-inforce why I love my husband, how I respect our relationship, how we both make sacrifices for each other and how in the coming year we can do more things that remind us of the love we share. WHICH is what I believe Karwa Chauth is for !

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Here goes :

1. I promise to always love you and take care of you.
2. I promise to make your dreams mine – by praying that they come true, by pushing you to go after them, by participating in the sacrifices required to achieve them.
3. I promise to be happy but never complacent, so we are forever growing together.
4. I promise to keep the uphill ride exciting, so that our journey is more beautiful than the destination.
5. I promise to be your friend first.
6. I promise to really listen to you – minus the digital distractions.
7. I promise to show compassion and forgiveness where you might fall short.
8. I promise to inspire you and always be your biggest champion.
9. I promise to be your source of comfort , support and warmth.
10. I promise to build our home on compassion and understanding and open communication.
11. I promise to help you become your best version.
12. I promise to always quote Bollywood dialogues in our serious and not-so-serious conversations.
13. I promise to laugh all my loudest laughs, smile my widest smile – all with you.
14. I promise to never take our fights past bedtime – only now that means 8pm.
15. I promise to accept all your quirks that I have gotten to know over the years, but equally enjoy smirking and making jokes at their expense.
16. I promise to always be grateful for our love and relationship, because if there is any constant – then that is this.
17. I promise to always pray for your good health, and while you anyways make most healthy choices, punctuate them with a couple of not-so healthy ones – because where is life without some balance.

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I do think that while saying the above – I will feel much more in love and more appreciative of the relationship I have. And when I close my eyes and bow to the God in front of me – I will FEARLESSLY and earnestly pray for your long life and marriage.

Please feel to use this as your Karwa Chauth Katha, or to take inspiration to write your own.