My Journey from Despair to Unexpected Joy
An autobiography of the wavy hair
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Hi, I am the human Wavy Hair talks about in its autobiography. I have been with Wavy Hair since the beginning. And I can vouch that every word rings with truth. OK… with just a tinge of exaggeration here and there and then some more!
You will soon find out that I have not been that great at dealing with Wavy Hair. I have come a long way since I started this journey four years ago. I am glad that I did not give up. It has been a rewarding journey. And I look forward to our crazy adventures in the future. I hope you like this story. And who knows, you might start seeing your relationship with your hair differently… 😉
An autobiography of Wavy Hair
Despair
It would not be an exaggeration that I am the most misunderstood of them all on this planet — I am Wavy Hair. You can consider me the middle child. I never get enough attention. I think you know my siblings — Straight Hair, Curly Hair, and Coily Hair.
You can identify them almost as soon as you see them, but you cannot say that for me. I know I am not the most consistent type. I express myself differently depending on my mood. Sometimes, I bounce with joy. At other times, I am limp and exhausted. But everyone goes through these phases in their life, right?
Anyways, it all started when my human took charge of me. Until that time, her mom used to put me in tight braids. Those could not get any tighter even if the Hulk tried. Those braids were a headache for my human and too restrictive for me.
So, it was a refreshing change when my human stepped up to take my responsibility. I was no longer bound in tight braids. But little did I know what was in store for me!
My human was living in oblivion all her life thinking that I was straight. She subjected me to treatment and products not meant for me. During each wash, the harsh shampoos stripped me of the nourishing oil not to be replenished again with a conditioner or oil. Time passed, shampooing became more frequent, and oiling/conditioning rare. I felt worn out, deflated, and sad after every assault.
But still, I did my best to fit myself into the image of me my human had. I did my best to remain as straight as a sword. But you know, even swords bend sometimes. And that is a good thing because otherwise, they would break. So, even if I tried, I could not help bending and twisting at odd places. And because I was doing it against all the external factors put on me, I wasn’t very good at it. I can see how I looked like nothing more than an unruly bundle of messiness.
Every time my eyes were filled with tears when I saw disappointment and embarrassment for me in the eyes of my human, never a feeling of pride.
Before you jump to any conclusions, my human is not a horrible person. I still wince at the reactions I got from people. People have laughed at me and rolled their eyes. They have compared me to a broom at my absolute worst. But, they are just people and do not matter to me as much as the one person.
Oh! What I would do to see a glimmer of pride in those beautiful eyes.
I jumped hoops for that. I held my breath as she used heat tools that burnt me, styling products that suffocated me, and salon treatments that were only meant to kill me. I had lost all hope until I saw one teeny tiny…
Ray of Hope
I will never forget that early morning of October five years ago. My human stumbled upon the curly girl method and realized that I was textured, not straight.
She finally understood that:
- I needed moisture, not heat.
- I needed plant-based moisturizing products, not products loaded with sulfates and silicones.
- I needed to be styled when I am wet, not combed when I am dry.
And on that early October morning, with the sunrise, a new hope arose in my heart. I dared to dream of a different future for me.
Before you start painting a rosy picture, here is the truth. Our journey was bumpy and long. My human went overboard with the curly girl method. She expected ringlets I could only dream of but never produce in reality. She was dazzled by the unrealistic natural hair transformations she saw online. I prayed for my life.
So, for longer than I want to admit, my human smothered me with too much love and moisture (and products). She hoped that I would turn into something that I was not. I tried to play along. But too many products just weighed me down. I would appear filthy soon after wash days because those products just sat on top and attracted dirt like a magnet. That feeling of being greasy, crunchy, hard, or all of them at once still gives me shivers down my spine.
I was ready to give up. I didn’t have the strength to go on and see the same old disappointment in those eyes. But I was shattered when something worse happened. She gave up on me! That was the darkest night of my life.
And then it happened…
Moment of Unexpected Joy
When the expectations were truly nil from either side, no extensive routine, no pressure - I unfolded into who I was. And my human saw me.
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She saw me devoid of her images of me.
She saw me irrespective of what other people said about me.
She saw who I truly was.
She saw how I was straight at certain places but curvy at others and how I bent in the most unusual and funny ways. She saw how I would look curly one day but close to straight the next day. She started to understand me and did just what I needed.
Did I see the pride in her eyes, you ask. I saw something even better! I saw…
LOVE
I see love in those beautiful eyes every day since then!
And that love is the source of my unexpected and unadulterated joy!
Acknowledgments
“Men have their cars, women have their hair” Kitty Forman in That ‘70s Show
That one line stuck with me all these years. Till that time, I didn’t realize the importance of each of those things to their owners.
I have experienced firsthand that feeling of disappointment when our bodies do not meet our expectations. My long hair was always a bit too much for me to handle.
When I realized that my hair was not straight, I couldn’t help spotting so many girls (and guys) around me who had textured hair. And maybe like me, they probably thought that their hair was a frizzy mess that could never behave.
“Frizz is a just curl waiting to happen” — Lorraine Massey
When I stumbled upon the above quote, I started to see my hair in a new light.
I have low porosity thick wavy hair. And it took me a very looooong time to find the right (mild/no protein) products and routine for me. But when I did, I finally saw my hair in all its glory. While I was reflecting on my journey, I wondered how my hair would describe it. And this autobiography of the wavy hair was born.
If you are new to all this and want to know more, here are some links that you might find useful:
NaturallyCurly.com —In the sea of online information, it is very easy to feel overwhelmed and not know how correct the information is. I often went to this website for authentic information and hair journeys.
The Curly Girl: Handbook — For me, nothing beats this book. If you want to learn the right technique without the unnecessary detours on your hair journey, go for the handbook!
The Curious Jalebi —I finally found good Indian products for low porosity hair from the list she created.
Asha Barrak — No matter how many conditioners I try, I always come back to AshBa leave-in conditioner! 😊
Katherine Page — Katherine’s advice on applying the conditioner until the hair is seaweed-like made all the difference for me. I love that she is such a strong voice for wavy hair and keeps it real!
Fix My curls — My hair loves their no protein hair butter and hair gelly. I do not know what I would do without them!
A lot of my friends at work and outside have been open to my rant about the curly girl method and experience sharing. I loved the excitement in our eyes when we shared new products and techniques.
My hair is healthy now and I don’t have to jump hoops or stop living my life to make them look good.
I wish everyone experiences the satisfaction of living in their skin and hair type!
Lots of love ❤️
