Everyone Has a Model — But Can We Let It Be Opposed?
We all carry a model of the world.
Not one we built consciously, sitting down with a notepad and saying, “Right, let me design my personal philosophy.” It just sort of happened. A mix of what we saw growing up, what we heard others say, what we feared, what we admired. The things that worked for us stayed. The things that didn’t? We quietly edited out.
Over time, this model gets layered. There’s the big worldview — your operating system. “Life is short, so enjoy it.” Or “Life is tough, so plan for it.” Or “Trust is earned, not given.” Then around this core, you build smaller modules that support or justify it. Things like “Discipline is freedom” or “Money gives you choices” or “People let you down — stay guarded.”
These are not just abstract ideas. They shape our values. And from those values come habits. And with repetition, these habits start to engrave the model deeper. It becomes automatic. Comfortable. Familiar. And often invisible.
But here’s the thing: the model is not the world. It’s just a version of it. Your version.
The Mind Closes Quietly, Not Loudly
As we grow older, the model tends to harden. It stops being a flexible framework and becomes a fixed lens. We stop questioning it — partly because it’s worked for us so far, and partly because questioning it feels threatening.
We start to prefer ideas that match it. We interpret events through it. We choose friends and partners and even jobs that align with it. And slowly, the model isn’t just how we see the world. It becomes what we believe the world is.
Even when we encounter other models — say, a colleague who doesn’t measure success by promotions, or a friend who values spontaneity over structure — we may acknowledge their worldview, maybe even admire it. But we rarely allow it to challenge our primary model. We listen, we nod… but we don’t shift.
Which brings me to a thought experiment.
The Asset vs. Liability Lens
Let’s say your model sees life in financial metaphors. You view everything as either an asset or a liability.
Discipline? Asset.
Wasted time? Liability.
A friend who helps you grow? Asset.
A risky decision? Potential liability.
It works for you. You manage your energy and time efficiently. You build systems. You optimize. It gives you a sense of control.
Now imagine you meet someone whose model is completely different. They see life as a river — something to flow with, not measure. They don’t use checklists. They don’t track goals. They say yes to spontaneous plans. They laugh more. They fail more. And they’re… content.
From your model’s lens, they look undisciplined. From theirs, you look uptight.
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Now pause and ask: can both models be true? Or more importantly — can both be useful?
The Scientist’s Mindset: A Better Model for Thinking
In his book Think Again, Adam Grant suggests we rethink how we think. He encourages us to stop clinging to ideas like preachers defending dogma or prosecutors proving a case. Instead, he urges us to think like scientists — people who form hypotheses, test them, revise them, and remain open to being wrong.
The scientist’s mindset doesn’t mean being indecisive. It means being humble.
It’s not about flipping your worldview every time someone disagrees with you.
It’s about having a posture of curiosity over conviction.
David Epstein, in his book Range, adds to this by pointing out that “the more internalized a bias is, the more likely we are to dismiss contradictory evidence without even knowing it.” The value, then, isn’t just in having a model — it’s in knowing how loosely or tightly we hold it.
This mindset lets us ask:
- What would it take to change my mind?
- Could another way also be true?
- What if this belief I hold so tightly is only partially helpful?
It creates room — not just for others’ models, but for our own to grow.
So, What Keeps the Model Flexible?
Mindfulness helps. Not in the candle-burning, lotus-pose sense necessarily — but in the simple act of noticing.
Noticing when you shut down a new idea too quickly.
Noticing when you defend a belief not because it’s true, but because it’s yours.
Noticing when your model is making you react — not reflect.
At work, this might mean pausing when a junior teammate suggests a “naive” approach, and instead of dismissing it, getting curious. At home, it could be as simple as catching yourself before you say, “That’s just not how it’s done.”
Mindfulness doesn’t mean you abandon your model. It just means you notice when it’s getting in the way — and you allow for other models to peek in.
A Final Thought
There’s no perfect model. There’s just your model, built through your story, your experiences, your fears, your wins. It’s valuable — and incomplete.
The trick isn’t to throw it away.
The trick is to hold it lightly.
Use it when it helps.
Tweak it when it doesn’t.
And stay open to others who’ve built theirs differently.
Because every once in a while, another model will walk into your life quietly.
And if you let it in, just a little — it might not replace your model.
But it might expand it.
And maybe that’s the real growth.
Not replacing who you are.
But widening what you can see.
