PART-1
DON’T LOSE YOURSELF IN SILENCE :
Sometimes the deepest wound love leaves behind is losing yourself while waiting to be understood
Choose yourself when waiting becomes the only thing you do,
On a beautiful morning, sometimes the heart can still ache so deeply that it feels difficult to breathe. And perhaps one of the hardest truths in life is that even when two people are in a relationship, they are not always waiting for each other in the same way. Sometimes one person waits while the other keeps the person waiting. A couple in love may look like two sides of the same coin, but they are never exactly the same. Love is not about becoming identical; love is about understanding, respecting, and accepting the person you are. Real love is the beautiful vibration that forms within you—the kind of love that teaches you to respect yourself because you were born to spread love in whatever way you can.
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But when love becomes toxic, everything changes. You start believing that the other person must understand your pain, understand your suffering, and validate every action you take. And when they fail to do that, even if you win the whole world, it can still feel like nothing. That is one of the biggest flaws in us: we begin measuring our worth through someone else’s words, actions, attention, and validation. But your worth has never depended on how someone chooses to express their love. Love is not endlessly waiting for someone to choose you. Love is accepting the person who gives you their time without making you question whether you deserve it.
Sometimes, even when two people love each other, life plays a painful game to strengthen that love. It gives them an unbearable amount of pain. One person, even after going through tremendous suffering, will still go toward the other. But the other person never comes to spend even a little time with them. Instead, they carry a bag full of reasons and speak only about their own pain. But the other person has pain too. They have anger, love, fear, confusion, and everything else inside them. Yet they speak from their heart because they want to be understood. When someone keeps confusing you with words like “I need you,” but can never spend even one minute truly being there for you, something is wrong. Perhaps the biggest toxic move is not showing your true self. Sometimes people hide themselves because they are afraid that if they express what they truly feel, the relationship will break. But they fail to notice that the relationship is already breaking.
It slowly breaks the person who chose you again and again—piece by piece, until they barely recognize themselves. So, dear girls, don’t beg for love, and don’t keep explaining your worth. If they truly feel your worth, they will come toward you. Even while I was writing all of this, a part of my mind kept saying, “Maybe he is in love.” But sometimes reality says otherwise. When you find yourself in such a situation, please take the biggest step you can and move on. Don’t cheat yourself just to keep believing in something that is no longer being lived by both people. Love is about truth. When you reveal your true self and the person walks away because of who you truly are, perhaps that love was never yours to hold.
Holding on while hurting yourself, confusing the other person, and continuously repeating the same painful cycle is not love. It is a toxic move that slowly destroys both people. Love should not constantly confuse you. Love should never make you feel like nothing. Love should never make you doubt whether you matter. There may be moments of pain, anger, misunderstanding, and distance, but there should not always be only one person carrying the pain. If you feel that something is missing, choose the love that gives you peace. Otherwise, take a deep breath and let it end.
Once you explain how you feel, and even after knowing that you are suffering, they still choose only their own pain and leave you without doing anything, then maybe it simply isn’t meant for you. And if, after everything you have said, they respond with “I’m not like that,” “I’m not treating you that way,” and then repeat the same behaviour again and again, what does that tell you? If something you repeatedly do is disturbing someone you claim is yours, shouldn’t you stop for even one second and think about how your actions affect them? If they are truly yours, you will think about their heart. Otherwise, sometimes the kindest thing is to leave. Words can say, “You are mine,” but actions reveal whether you truly mean it.
Think about a person who gives food to a dog every day and says, “I love my dog so much.” But the dog doesn’t need food alone. It needs time. It needs presence. It needs affection. It needs to feel that it belongs somewhere. A dog is a thankful soul, and it doesn’t deserve love only in the form of food. In the same way, whatever you are going through in life, be transparent. If you are angry, show it. If you are hurt, say it. If you are afraid, speak about it. Let the person understand you instead of making them guess. Sometimes even when someone is in pain, they still try to understand you and set aside time to talk to you. And if the other person still isn’t ready to talk, the problem may not be you—it may be them. If someone constantly feels uncomfortable with your presence, perhaps whatever exists between you is no longer the love you thought it was. Love is not measured by years, months, or weeks.
And sometimes, the pain of being loved but not truly understood is easier to see through a story. So, let me tell you about Caesar in Part 2.
