Lessons in Loud

A look back on a 20-year-old trauma

I couldn’t find a single photograph of myself from this time period, so stock photo it is! Picture by Inspired Images from Pexels

May 31, 2004. I can still remember feeling utterly broken, tormented and afraid. I had woken, again, to loud, unpleasant, incessant noise. I was sleep-deprived, cracked out from a weekend of partying, and had had more than enough of the auditory assault coming from the camp across the way. Actually, I had had more than enough of it a couple days before. It wasn’t funny, and I was pushed way past my limits.

As the day went by, it got worse. We were trying to clean up to leave. The day was hot, and the soundtrack to our breakdown was breaking me down. I walked over to the ranger headquarters to get help. One of the rangers laughed in my face: another One ranger was a member of the offending camp, and apparently they had the tacit approval of some of the other rangers. They weren’t going to help me.

I went back to my camp, in tears, to continue clean up. I had lent my car to an out-of-town friend, so I was at the mercy of my boyfriend’s timetable, and he wasn’t leaving anytime soon. There was no escape for me.

I continued to feel more agitated and angry. At one point, one of the participants of the camp walked by, holding up a makeshift sign that implored people to stop packing up and hang out and play some more. I ran off, afraid that I would start throwing punches. Later in the…