Ever-Blossoming Friendship; A Delicate Give & Take
How Self-Acceptance Became the Soil for True Companionship
Growing up, my mother used to consistently instill several invaluable lessons in my mind. One of which, she would offer to combat the sadness I felt from not ‘adjusting’ well with my peers in school.
She would often instruct me, “Daniel, to have friends, you must first be a friend.”
Despite numerous attempts to gain a sense of belonging among a solid group of companions, I felt I was always unsuccessful.
How does one learn to be a friend when they view themselves as nothing but an outcast?
I was never outstanding at ‘fitting in’ amongst a crowd.
I’m not exactly sure why? I’ve always treated others with kindness and respect.
However, I’ve spent most of my adolescence & young adult life wondering why I haven’t been treated with the same, mutually-respectable ideals.
I’ve worn glasses since the 2nd grade. My hair has always been red. I’ve always been heavier than I’d like to be. And, I’ve always acted much more ‘colorful’ than the average, typical ‘manly man’.
No doubt those qualities fabricated me into an easy target for bullying.
However, it’s not possible that every one of my peers was shallow enough to subscribe to such superficial, tyrannizing tactics.
The playground was more of a prison yard than an area of solace; a place where innocence was forced to defend itself, rather than express its pure nature.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
This infamous proverb suggests that physical harm is more significant than emotional distress from insults or negative verbal confrontation; implying that one should be emotionally rigid and ignore the vicious sting of such repartee.
Rarely was I made an outcast by physical brute, but rather by the harsh nip of exclusivity — the pain of sarcastic remarks & the torment of childish intimidation.
Don’t get me wrong, I had a group of childhood friends, just like most children.
We would bond over late-night sleep overs, campfires, video games, sled riding, swimming & motocross.
But it seemed like when we all left the grade-school arena, our friendships dissipated. Not with a firm, structured end-date; but with more of a soft, subtle fading that ushered out our previous kinship.
Similar to propagating plants — the initial closeness of our infant roots became estranged; forced to diverge into multiple novel paths in an attempt to create fresh roots, capable of growing new life — and new friendships which developed as we ‘grew’ apart.
As the years continued, I learned that friendships, much like flowers, need balance to bloom. They require both sunlight and shadow — both the giving of patience and the receiving of understanding.
My mother’s words began to take root among new paths.
For I have learned, being a friend isn’t simply about offering kindness; it is also about allowing one’s self to be seen and accepted for who they are, without apology — a principle I couldn’t even begin to comprehend until only after learning how to graciously love myself, without judgement.
Once I became comfortable with myself — who I am as a divine creature of God — it became much easier to forge connections with other like-minded people. Arguably, people who resonate, or vibrate at a corresponding ‘higher’ frequency.
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I spent years longing for meaningful fellowship from peers and classmates, to no avail. However, once I established an improvement in my journey of self-love, those ever-so-sought-after connections appeared to flawlessly mesh into a serendipitous orchestra of belonging.
I’ve found the friendships that matter — the ones that truly feed the soul — arrive later, after you’ve learned to stop chasing them.
In early adulthood, something shifted. I stopped trying so fervently to be understood and started focusing on understanding others. I began to attract people who spoke the same emotional language — friends who saw me, not just my surface.
With them, conversation flows easily, silence feels comfortable & support doesn’t have to be asked for; it’s simply offered.
This week’s arrangement titled, ‘Ever-Blossoming Friendship; A Delicate Give & Take’ reflects a quiet lesson in balance.
Each bloom has its own role — its own voice — and yet together they create a harmonious balance of tranquility; reminding me that, similar of friendship this display has been built on the same delicate balance of giving and accepting … both of which are laden in a spirit of gratitude.
The white roses bring a sense of honesty and sincerity. They represent the purity of intention that strong friendships need — those moments when truth, even when uncomfortable becomes an act of love. They display that trust is born not from perfection, but from openness and authenticity.
Red roses add warmth and courage to the mix. They symbolize the emotional depth which stems from allowing others to really know you — the parts of yourself that aren’t always easy to share, along with the parts that can be mutually rejoiced. They are the steady heartbeat of the arrangement. Spread across its horizontal aspect, they exhibit loyalty; a precious quality, of which carries a friendship through challenge & change.
The yellow roses spring about a brightness which represent the joy and optimism of connection. Their color glows such the sound of cheerful laughter — from inside jokes and effortless understanding. Their radiant color & tall, resolute stature reminds me that even when life feels heavy, a true friend can lighten the load simply by being present. For, even in silence, the presence of a true friend helps lift the heaviest of burdens.
The yellow lilies, reaching upward, stand for growth and warm affection; required characteristics of any meaningful friendship. Their optimism instils a sense of joy, happiness and admirable health. Yellow lilies emanate a positive state of mind as their tall shoots celebrate new beginnings, express gratitude and beautifully whisper, ‘Thank You’. Their sprouts tower over the display; some beginning to blossom, others remain fastened closed — comparable of friendships that evolve over time. The tall, varied-stages of blossoming remind me that relationships, no matter how close, need space & time to grow — to breathe — and to change shape; just as people do.
And the small red-orange carnations — full of energy and endurance — embody the quiet effort behind friendship; the daily gestures, the steady patience & the unspoken care that sustains a bond long after the excitement fades. They were stippled into the empty spaces, filling the vase extensively while incorporating a combined meaning of passionate & exciting love, or deep admiration for one’s vibrant and captivating nature. They’re representative of enthusiasm, desire and warmth; suitable for the celebration of a friend’s success, to wish them well or convey a warm sense of appreciation.
Assessing the arrangement as a whole, I realize friendship isn’t about balance in the sense of keeping score. Rather, it’s about movement — about taking turns as the one who gives and the one who receives.
Sometimes you’re the sturdy rose offering strength — other times you’re the unopened lily, still learning to bloom.
True friendship is a living arrangement — a gentle, ongoing exchange between hearts. It asks only that we keep showing up for one another, again & again, with grace and intention.
True friendship is but a delicate exchange of energy. Sometimes we are the giver — the one offering comfort, laughter or forgiveness. Other times, we are the receiver — the one needing reassurance, acceptance or grace.
Both roles are vital. Both are beautiful.
I no longer mourn the years I spent without close friends. Those years taught me discernment — how to recognize sincerity, how to value depth over popularity & how to offer the kind of friendship I always longed for.
I didn’t find my ‘crew’ when I wanted to — rather, they sprang into my life when I was ready for them. And in such timing, I discern grace.
Because belonging isn’t about the number of people around you; it’s about how safe you feel when you’re with them.
True friendship, I’ve learned, doesn’t ask you to shrink — it invites you to grow.
11.5.25
-DW
