She Hid Herself: Part 1
Loyal, Brave, and True: A Divine Feminine’s Journey to Freedom
The story of Mulan is an ancient tale dating back many centuries with multiple re-tellings, but in the end it’s just that — a story. Or, is it? Is something ever just a story when it resonates with the human spirit no matter the era or audience? Or is it more? Perhaps it’s more a legend made manifest through divine energy and the rise of the feminine; a tale that shows the true power of a woman bucking tradition to follow her path. To be honest, I’ve never seen more than a few minutes of the movie(s) or read more than a synopsis of the stories portraying the ancient character of Mulan (Magnolia). What I have heard, however, is the theme song to Disney’s take on Mulan; Loyal Brave True. Sung by Christina Aguilera, the lyrics really stuck with me. I was pondering what I was going to write about in my first article (and seemingly getting nowhere!) When that song came on, it struck a chord with me. I knew it was something that would allow me to build off an existing framework, saving me from pre-emptive writer’s block. Is that a thing? Anyway, I wrote out the lyrics, listened to the song on repeat, and felt into the essence of the words. How did it resonate with me and my journey? How might it help others connect with and grow within theirs?
Following are the lyrics and my interpretation of the first verse and chorus as it relates to the Twin Flame journey. I could have gone into a lot more detail, I think, but that’s not my intention. It’s my intention that I channel whatever message I’m supposed to, and that it finds others in divine timing. (And maybe a bit of added clarity mixed in there for me, too, would be nice. Hint. Hint. Spirit Guides!) If you like what you read, please feel free to engage through claps, comments, or however you feel called to respond. Activity on articles you find relatable will help others connect in. So, with that said…
War is not freedom. Over my shoulder I see a clearer view. All for my family — reason I’m breathing. Everything to lose.
Should I ask myself in the water what a warrior would do? Tell me, underneath my armor, am I loyal, brave, and true? Am I loyal, brave, and true?
Losing is easy. Winning takes bravery. I am a tiger’s fool. Out in the open. No one to save me. The kindest of whispers are cruel.
Should I ask myself in the water what a warrior would do? Tell me, underneath my armor, am I loyal, brave, and true? Am I loyal, brave, and true?
Cold is the morning. Warm is the dream. Chasing the answers ’til I can’t sleep. Will I be stronger, or will I be weak when you’re not with me?
Who am I without my armor, standing in my father’s shoes? All I know is that it’s harder to be loyal, brave, and true.
War Is Not Freedom
To hide it (the TF journey) is to risk being found out. To reveal it is to risk losing everything. That is the war, but War Is Not Freedom. So, what is freedom? What shall set us free? Well, the truth, of course.
Over My Shoulder I See a Clearer View
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Truth is ever-present, no matter our circumstances. An ancient warrior (fictional or not) hiding her true self to remain undetected, and a Divine Feminine hiding her divine nature (in order to “survive” in society) have a lot in common. Appearances, as deceiving as they are, are what our minds rely on to keep us “safe”. But, are they really us? Are we living a “What you see is what you get” kind of life? Usually, no. Not that you should walk around town telling your Spiritual Awakening story to everyone who will (pretend to) listen. Certainly not. Throw in a twist called the Twin Flame journey, and you might actually see heads explode!
How, then, are we supposed to live authentically and remain safe? (Whatever that means!) Answer: You Can’t. Authenticity is real. Safety is an illusion. And, believe me, writing that statement (even reading it out loud) is easy. It’s living it that’s the hard part. Like, REALLY hard! It’s a gradual, day-by-day, second-by-second sometimes, transition into a new way of being. A new way of existing in this world; this play, if you will. Because “All the world’s a stage.” Right? Once you’ve transversed so much of your awakening, it’s fairly easy to view it that way. But, the difficulty (at least for me) lies in my relationships with others.
All for My Family — Reason I’m Breathing
Oh, believe me, this awakening (aka my Twin Flame journey) has pushed me beyond what I thought were my limits and has caused me to shed SO many relationships that I valued dearly. Each “loss” was a slap in the face, punch in the gut, or knife in the back that I didn’t see coming. Until I did. But, that’s a life lesson to be written about another day, so I digress.
Our more core relationships, long-term high-level Soulmates namely, are where our foundational struggles on this journey get real. Does it sting when your best friend of twenty years ghosts you because they don’t like what you believe? Sure. Is their place in your life linked to your survival? Probably not. So, in that case, it’s possible to move forward in life without too much interruption. But, it’s when we find our soul selves backed into a corner by the core members of our story that things get interesting. And, by interesting, I mean really f-ing hard!
Everything to Lose
Once we’ve shed those who no longer serve a role in our lives, whether intentional or not, it feels like what’s left is fragile and must be handled with utmost care or we risk losing them, too. But, is it really fragile, or do we just perceive it that way? If it really is volatile and unable to not just withstand but grow in the face of truth, is it serving our soul’s growth? Likely, no. Sitting in this knowledge is enough to churn anyone’s stomach. Including mine. Do I believe the Universe has my back, and I’ll be (better than) fine throughout this journey? Yes. Does that stop my human self from having human emotions related to an unknown future? No. But, it’s already unknown, anyway. So, why the visceral reactions to what is (or is not)? A lack of supposed control, maybe? Yes, we have choices in life, and so we do have “control” over our choices. But, we don’t have control over outcomes. And that’s the scary part that our soul is trying to coach our mind to let go of.
Should I Ask Myself in the Water — What a Warrior Would Do?
So, here comes an overarching theme of the Twin Flame journey: REFLECTION. Just as we see our reflection in a pool of water, we see it too in the eyes and shared soul essence of our spiritual counterpart. One is a physical reflection. The other a soul’s reflection. That initial soul reflection, upon soul recognition, is pure and perfect in its essence — two frequencies perfectly in sync. But, enter a ripple in the water; pebbles thrown in made up of ancestral karma needing healed, life experiences demanding processing and release, and self-ownership waiting to be claimed. Pebbles? More like boulders!
So, dear Reflection, what’s a warrior to do in such a maelstrom? How do we not only stay present but also grow in the midst of a soul’s landslide? Well, we have to do what a warrior does. Make the choice to fight. Not in the literal sense, of course, but spiritually. Sometimes that choice to fight looks like meditation (in whatever form that takes for you). Other times it’s setting firm boundaries that align with your soul’s need for space. Maybe it’s pursuing old (or new) passions — for me it’s been dance and reading. Whatever the choice is, it doesn’t matter. It’s the fact that you actually choose it; and, in turn, you’ve chosen yourself.
Underneath My Armor — Am I Loyal, Brave, and True?
In ancient combat, armor only went so far in protecting us. Unless we had a full body suit of metal on us 24/7, we were likely to get stabbed at some point. Same goes for our journey. Unless we stay on guard every second for the rest of our lives (not much of a life), then we’ll eventually feel that sharp edge of life’s sword. The ghosting from friends, the angry words from loved ones, the looming pressure to reverse course from those who are upset that you’re different now. But there is no going back. Once this cat is out of the bag, she’s never getting shoved back in without her clawing that bag to shreds. That’s why we have to choose ourselves over and over again. We have to put on the armor of good boundaries and self-love, but all that faux armor of staying small to keep the peace or going along to get along, has to be shed.
When we swear loyalty to ourselves, after a lifetime of fighting other people’s battles, we win. Every time we bravely say No to something that we used to reluctantly say Yes to, we win. When the day comes that we share the truth of our journey with those who will challenge us, we win. And we win again when we don’t back down from our truth, no matter the cost.
~ Nicole
