jack
There’s no right way to start this, I’m not even sure I wanna type this but as my fingers keep tapping the little letters in the white boxes on my shitty iPhone I realize now that maybe I should’ve listened more carefully to her that day.
Funny I still remember it like it just happened a mere second ago,
She said “one day I’ll be gone.”
Back then I was in between figuring out who I was as a person, why I was brought up in this world, and why life was so dull and shitty.
I was just trying to get through life peacefully, I didn’t care about what she said, I was heartless.
In a way, maybe it was because I knew that I had her wrapped around my little finger,
I knew no matter how many times I would fuck up and no matter how much I fucked up she’d still come back. She loved me, so she always did.
She said ‘’when I’m gone, you’ll miss me,
You’ll miss my constant nagging, and my never ending complaints about how much people suck,
You’ll miss my endless I love you’s throughout the day,
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You’ll miss the way I was always available for you and your needs no matter what.
But mostly, you’ll even miss the fights you despise now and want so desperately to avoid.
Because one day I’ll wake up, I’ll realize I don’t need you, I probably never did,
One day I’ll die a little bit inside but that day I’ll also be reborn as a whole new person.
One day I’ll be a much happier person while you’ll be sulking around wallowing in pity because you had me, you know? You had me good and you left me slip out of your fingers like I meant nothing.
That one day will come, you might change fate if you stop treating me this way and start being decent to me but until then that one day is coming, maybe even sooner than you think.’’
Looking back now, I realize I should’ve listened to her,
I should’ve tried, I should’ve fixed us, I could’ve fixed us but I was young, I didn’t care;
Here I am now, reminiscing old stories and realizing the worth of someone I had but lost because of my inability to care.
‘’Another glass of vodka please.’’
Fuck caring.
