How I met my wife
Sometimes, the most unexpected places lead to the right person
Not every love story begins in a classroom, an office, or through mutual friends.
Ours began in a Zoom breakout room.
A room full of strangers
Back in 2021, I was preparing for my next academic step: pursuing a master’s degree. One thing was clear — I needed to improve my English, especially speaking.
So I joined an online English-speaking community. It was a simple setup: regular Zoom sessions where participants were grouped into small breakout rooms. Each room had about four people — a moderator and a few participants — just enough to keep the conversation flowing without pressure.
Interestingly, the community was initiated by someone I knew from campus. At the time, I didn’t expect anything beyond practice and maybe a few new connections.
But life rarely sticks to expectations.
The first impressions
She had already been part of the committee and often acted as a moderator when I joined. Over time — across three or four sessions — we ended up in the same breakout room.
Something about her stood out.
Of course, I noticed her appearance — she was very much my type. But more than that, it was the way she spoke and thought. There was a kind of alignment I couldn’t quite explain. Our perspectives, our rhythm in conversation — it just clicked.
It was subtle, but it stayed with me.
From casual replies to intentional moves
After those sessions, I started engaging in the most modern form of “approach” — replying to her Instagram stories.
At first, it was light and casual. Just conversations here and there. Nothing too serious.
But context matters.
At the beginning of 2022, I had just gone through a breakup. That phase of my life made me rethink what I actually wanted. I wasn’t interested in casual relationships anymore. I wanted something real — something intentional.
So instead of playing it safe, I decided to be direct.
The message that could have ended everything
On September 5, 2022, I sent her a message.
It went something like this:
Assalamualaikum. Sorry if this is a bit straightforward…
Do you already have someone? If not, would you be open to getting to know me?
I’m currently single and seriously looking for a future wife.
Looking back, I can admit — it was bold. Maybe even a little risky.
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For two people who barely knew each other, without much shared history, that kind of message could easily come across as too much. Too fast. Too… intense.
I honestly expected the worst-case scenario: being ignored or politely rejected.
But that’s not what happened.
She responded — openly, calmly, and without judgment.
And just like that, the conversation continued.
Building something, slowly
From that point on, we moved our conversations to WhatsApp. What started as a simple exchange turned into something consistent.
At the time, I was living in Bandung, while she was in Bekasi. So, naturally, we entered a long-distance phase.
We kept things steady.
Outside of daily chats, we scheduled two video calls each week — usually through Zoom or Google Meet. Those calls became our space to really talk, beyond texts and short updates.
Every now and then, I visited her home. I met her parents, got to know her family, and slowly became part of her world.
There was no rush. Just progress.
Growing together
What made that period meaningful wasn’t just the relationship itself, but everything happening around it.
We were both pursuing our master’s degrees. We were both figuring out our paths. And somehow, we managed to grow — individually and together — at the same time.
There’s something powerful about building a relationship while both sides are still in the process of becoming.
The ending that became a beginning
In 2024, we graduated.
Not long after that, we got married.
From a random breakout room to a lifelong commitment — it still feels surreal when I think about it.
Looking back
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this:
There’s no single “right” way to meet your person.
Sometimes, it’s not about where you meet — but how honest you are when you do.
And sometimes, all it takes is one message — the kind that feels a little too bold — to change the entire direction of your life.
