Summer Child
a piece inspired by Summer Child by Conan Gray
A quiet piece for the ones who smile through their sadness.
For those who give warmth while feeling cold inside.
For those who’ve mastered pretending — but still hope to be seen.
I am a summer child.
I was born in summer — August,
when the sun lingers and everything feels light.
ㅤㅤㅤ
People think I’m like that too.
Warm. Bright. Easy to talk to.
The kind of person who’s always fine,
smiling like everything’s by design.
And maybe that’s what I’ve let them believe,
’cause it’s easier than wearing my heart on my sleeve.
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“You don’t have to act like all you feel is mild.”
But I do — I’ve done that since I was a child.
I laugh through pain, play pretend.
Change the subject again and again.
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I keep myself busy, I stay in control,
’cause stillness feels like it might swallow me whole.
I swallow the lump, say “I’m fine” with grace,
while hiding the cracks no one dares to face.
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I’m the one who listens, the one who stays,
even when I’m breaking in quiet ways.
I don’t cry, not where they can see,
not because it doesn’t hurt — it’s just not allowed to be me.
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
I grew up scared of the dark,
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but now it feels like a softer spark.
There’s comfort now in empty space,
where no one looks too close at my face.
ㅤㅤ
I cover my arms with long sleeves tight,
even in the hottest, harshest light.
To hide the marks, the proof of pain,
even if it leaves a deeper strain.
Even when it stings or burns,
even when no one ever learns.
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That’s the kind of summer child I became —
bright on the outside, playing the game.
The one who looks like sunshine gold,
but forgets how it feels when the nights get cold.
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And that’s what makes me,
I’m a summer child.
ㅤㅤㅤ
(08.06.2025)
Author’s Note
If this piece found you on a heavy day, I hope it gave you room to breathe.
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You don’t always have to be the bright one.
You’re allowed to feel tired. You’re allowed to rest.
You don’t have to carry it all quietly just to make others comfortable.
This was written from a place of softness, sadness, and hope —
for anyone who’s ever smiled while breaking,
and for those who are learning it’s okay to feel everything. ㅤ
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You’re not alone. You were never too much.
Even your quietest feelings are allowed to be held.
