Hari Ini Aku Kembali Pulang — English Version
Translated by Yasmin
This article is dedicated to Dayu Sartika’s solo exhibition.
I remember the first time I met and grew close to Dayu Sartika — a moment that happened unintentionally, simply because we shared the same fondness. From there, I came to know Dayu Sartika’s works — sweet, with strokes of pastel colors that suggest a soft feminine aura. Within her works, Dayu Sartika often inserts small details that are not merely ornamental, but deeply meaningful. Much of her work explores narratives of the body and personal experience, presenting a version of Dayu Sartika that is gentle, almost playful. Yet, as understood in Confucianism, human beings are dynamic — ever evolving, ever learning. In much the same way, she too felt it: a hollow space that emerged as the busyness of the worldly life slowly led her away from her purpose of creating. Now, that desire calls her back — to etch pencil upon paper once more. To create again, and to rediscover the self she had not encountered for so long.
“I feel as though I am becoming acquainted once more with the ‘me’ that had long been left in the dark.” — Dayu Sartika
After two years passing through a period of isolation — dwelling in stillness, reacquainting herself — Dayu Sartika gave rise to seven works in an exhibition titled “Hari ini, Aku Kembali Pulang.” As she opened the box of her memories, she recalled the first time she traced pencil upon paper — an act that led her into the art scene. Wherever she went, pencil and paper were companions that remained by her side. It took her quite some time to arrive at this decision. She had been caught within the illusion of fear and restlessness — questioning whether she could rediscover the same sense of comfort she once knew. Yet, all was answered when she chose to confront that fear and reopen a door she had once left behind. There, she found a sense of calm and relief, realizing how far she had come. It cannot be denied that for some, the process of change feels frightening — full of uncertainty. But such is the way life moves: we learn from uncertain beginnings, we confront doubt and fear within ourselves, until at last we are able to smile and say to ourselves that we are capable of passing through it all. As though offering reassurance — that no matter how far you go, “I” will always be here. So whenever you wish to return, “I” will always be there, becoming your safe space.
“I strip away color to return to the purest essence — to my roots.” — Dayu Sartika
Although the subject of herself remains, this exhibition feels more honest for Dayu Sartika. Where once she was known through the richness of her color palettes, here she lets go all color — allowing her hands to move only within the grasp of black charcoal. Even as doubt arises with each stroke, she begins with care. She pours out a truth of herself — now returned home, to embrace the woman who has been waiting within the same space. She has not changed; she remains as she was when Dayu Sartika first knew her. A woman who continues to accept her, drawn from every memory she is still able to hold. For Dayu Sartika, to explore this again is like opening an old album. Not with regret — but what she finds instead is comfort, warmth, and an embrace for herself.
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When Dayu Sartika sent me her works, I could see a sense of firmness within them. Wrapped in black and white, I found not the slightest trace of hesitation in her pieces. Could this be the form of honesty she arrived at through the process? In her works, we see two women, with long black hair — one braided, the other left to fall freely. They appear to be in quiet conversation, offering affection and solace to one another. This is Dayu Sartika’s reconciliation with herself — where she now returns home to meet the self that has long been waiting at the door. Within her works, strands of black hair can also be seen — falling, trailing. To me, hair becomes a depiction of time — a symbol, a witness to the events of life. And within Dayu Sartika’s works, hair also becomes a metaphor for the self that has now found connection once more.
“This feels like a healing process — like being held again. I don’t need to think about how to mix colors, I don’t need to think about what kind of background I should create. I simply allow my drawings to be as simple as possible, and focus on being in dialogue with that simplicity.” — Dayu Sartika
As is known, the use of charcoal as a medium requires a certain care with every stroke. Dayu Sartika moves through this process while revisiting the memory of when she first fell in love with drawing. Where once she created sketches as a foundation for painting, now she focuses solely on the sketch itself — repositioning herself to rediscover a sense of peace. Within the simplicity of color and material, this process becomes a form of healing for her.
“The title of this exhibition is my confession — that no matter how far I run to appear as though I am fine in the outside world, the only way to return whole is to have the courage to come home and embrace myself.” — Dayu Sartika
This entire exhibition is a process of becoming — and of acceptance. There is no longer an “I” and “you”; they have now dissolved into “we.” Now, we return home — to embrace ourselves, to tend to wounds, to celebrate and to appreciate every event that has shaped us into who we are today. Acceptance is never easy, but a long process — filled with twists, doubt, and uncertainty. So, offer yourself a warm embrace. Shower yourself with care, and nurture yourself with love.
- Sekar Pradnyadari, April 2025
Author’s note:
I once asked Dayu and Yasmin, as the artist and manager of this exhibition, after the long process of preparation — what does “returning home” mean to them? It was also a question I asked myself. Through this writing, and through the process of preparing this exhibition, it was not only Dayu who learned — I, and Yasmin as well, learned to be more honest with ourselves. To accept, and not to judge. To learn, and to allow space. To return to living.
“The only way to become whole again is to have the courage to return home and embrace yourself.” — Dayu
“Once, going home felt like failure. But through creating this exhibition, I learned: going home is a pause, not an end — it is another way of beginning again.” — Yasmin
“For me, returning home means meeting my younger self again — the one who does not judge, and allows me to simply be, in quiet.” — Sekar
