A Biographer of Babel April 2021
43.25
What is this feeling of mayonnaise? Thick, sweetsour cream filling everything. I did not request this, but it is here slowing everyone. The sun’s warmth crusts these artefacts. They slough off as more gather. Though, it seems as if I haven’t moved. Today’s unscheduled meditations with the ovular condiment. The pressure bearing fog that is not so wondrous in its mystery. Had I a sandwich, it probably wouldn’t have mayonnaise.
n+1
here i have given an image of life that i know to be mostly still
were it completely still, would it still be life?
n-1
You sneaky sadness, coming up on me in my own words. Impulsive assessment of the other. Disagreement of taboo. Cultural construction should make me silent. I should be erased, but if I argue otherwise am I holding onto power? There is more ground and erasure is not for everyone.
6
Was my kindergarten friend’s name Yermon? The one I got into trouble on the bus with?
37
A talisman of friendship. Love made manifest. A collection of memories shared. Embodied. Carried until dispersed back to the memory; that which is both.
43.26
A talisman of friendship. Love made manifest. A collection of memories shared. Embodied. Carried until dispersed back to the memory; that which is both.
43.27
My goal, I discovered, was to write a biography that was not autobiography.
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Easy, I thought. I and those around me may think of myself as continuous, but that is difficult or even impossible to show with any level of coherency so any biography I write about myself will be just that.
43.28
If life necessitates clocks, maybe I’ll find something other than life. Rhythms and relationships are, are not, sing, dream, displace, murder, satisfy, grow, soil, twist, motion.
43.29
Are you ever just so grateful that you’re you and not someone else? Grateful to your creator, that is?
That’s a complicated proposition. Similar to the way I rarely, if ever, make my heart beat, I rarely, if ever, feel I’m me; until I’m confronted with a question that pushes me to reflect about being me. Which Descartes never got to the bottom of since I and me are situationally different … Anyway, I hope my creator is grateful that I exist since sometimes I am an uncertain being.
43.30
If I felt compelled to subscribe to any metaphysical/spiritual model, I would lean towards Alan Watts’ proclaiming something to the effect of “You are the universe experiencing itself through a single being, meaning everyone else is also you, just in yet another different body and experience” “You are a function of what the whole universe is doing in the same way that a wave is a function of what the whole ocean is doing.” Yes. The ecological conception.
I also think it’s worthwhile to explore the possibility of the universe as me experiencing myself as an incomplete whole. There is nothing to be captured and understood, but this is not nihilism, it is simply curiosity which is self-reflection which in turn is a channeling of aeons (if we focus on the time conception of change) along an infinite path.
And other such Tom dander.
