First Post
This is the first time I sit down to write on medium.com, which has the potential to change my creative life or end up in the pile of abandoned ideas. I sit here on the plushy carpet, surrounded by toys, trying to sound smart in my very first post.
Here’s the plan: Create. Without edit. Without shame. Abandon old ideas and insecurities and just create already.
I’ve created this small corner of the interwebs, somewhat obscure, because I have anxiety over creating bad work. I overanalyze everything I do, concerned that if I put a bad picture up on Instagram, I’ll be judged for being weird and eccentric (true and true, but I don’t need you to tell me that). Worse, I worry that I’m wasting someone’s time. As if the split second that it takes for them to scroll past my photo is taking precious air out of their mouths.
But still, I worry. I’m anxious. I’m self-conscious and nervous.
So, I created something in obscurity, where I could share my art every day and if you don’t want to see it, it’s extremely easy to click away. No obligations.
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I’m hoping that medium will allow me to do what I like out of every other social media platform, but all in one place. Or at least collect it all there.
Youtube is my main platform, but there’s times I come up with a really genius idea that just isn’t long enough to be an entire video, nor will it ever be. I’d have to throw in a bunch of terrible stuff to make it long enough that people would want to click on it. (Videos under two minutes seem to sit, mostly unwatched. I think people think that it’s not worth their time. As if it’s impossible to share something of value in less than two minutes.)
Sometimes I share these ideas to Twitter, but more often than not, I let them die.
And that makes me sad. I’ve long wanted a place where I can create and share with no pressure, no obligation. From you or from me. Just creating for the sake of creating.
Sometimes I get an itch to film a Youtube video. It’ll sit on my brain, begging me to go and create it already. But after I film the video, the itch is gone. And that’s okay. Because it wasn’t the product that mattered, but purely the creation of it.
I liken this to my husband’s love of video games. He spends a decent amount of time playing, but I never ask him his stats or his ranking. There’s never any talk of when he’ll be able to go pro or guilt that the hobby doesn’t produce an income. It’s fun for the sake of fun.
That’s what I want with my art. If I want to write a non-sensical blog post, then so be it, I’ll write that non-sensical blog post. Even if I never publish it for the world to see, the act of creation is the goal. And it feels good.
