The Secret of Not Aging
Over the past decade or so, the frequency by which I get addressed as “young lady” has been dwindling at a disheartening pace. Thankfully, every so often, though far in between, I still hear it — usually from an all-white-haired bearded gentleman, always when asking for help in finding his glasses. Even then, I take it in stride and allow myself to enjoy the small vanity of the moment. After all, the jewel of youth, that fleeting quality that slips away despite our most fervent efforts, appeals even to the most modest of us.
More gratifying than the “Young Lady” reference was a comment-or I should say a compliment- I received just last week from a 30+ year old perceptive lady. P.S. all throughout the few years I have known her, I always appreciated her ability to see currents beyond the surface and to surmise their impact long before she paid me the compliment she did. I will circle back to the comment, but first my take on age and aging.
As the most advanced and only sentient species on earth-that is as far as our senses allow us to detect within our plane of existence-we have been afforded way too much capacity with way too little time to fully realize the benefits. The aging process robs us of the ability to realize our maximum potential and fully live fulfilled lives. It almost seems unconscionable for the creator to have bestowed upon us the tools for higher learning, the capacity for enlightenment, the potential for growth, only to take them away before we can master the game.
But try we must, to enhance our life, if not in “length,” then at least in “width” by what substance we jam into it.
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Thankfully, we live in an age rife with medical advancements, and abundant with knowledge of healthy living. We are better equipped to achieve physiological wellbeing than ever before. As such, we have no one to blame but ourselves if we still indulge in sugary deserts or neglect daily exercises.
Still, physiological wellbeing is but one aspect of youth. The decline of the brain equally demands exercises of its own if we are to stay vibrant. Establishing lifelong learning is as important in the vitality of our brain as physical exercise is to our bodies.
Body and brain power, as crucial and consequential as they are to that youth score, are not sufficient to keep us young. There is that third element as essential, if not more so, in helping us claim the timeless elixir of youth, summed up in two words- new and different. It is an outlook into life, an approach less ingrained in status quo and more in change; openness to new ideas, viewing the world through different lenses, trying new things, cultivating a zest for exploration, embracing risk for the promise of an alluring reward, and exercising adaptability despite that ever-growing urge to cling onto our established habits and retreat to our comfort zone. That is the very essence of youth, without which civilizations would remain stagnant. Ultimately, it’s a choice: to live with stimulating change or to seek refuge in the safety of the constant. It is the difference between living vibrantly until the end and fading into a slow, steady decline.
Back to that cherished compliment I received, one that made me add a fourth element to the fight against decline; Growth. I can best describe it as a persistent yearning to become better versions of ourselves, to grow beyond what we are today, in ways we see our own potential, as well as in ways we admire in other people. To live as though we are delusional in having mastered everlasting life, yet with the haste brought by the knowledge of an imminent end.
You can imagine how deeply gratifying it was to hear her say, “you have grown so much since I have come to know you.” That I, a 65-year “ancient,” am still capable of evolving, I take to suggests that I may not be that ancient after all. That perhaps I can still keep toe to toe with the eager-minded, convention-fighting, change-aspired new generation. I pray for the ability to sustain that yearning, the strength to see it through, but also the blessing to be an agent of growth for others just the same.
This Thanksgiving, I am deeply grateful for the people in my life who inspire me to grow and who support me in that journey. You know who you are.
