My 3 Wishes: especially When I’m Sober

Okay, Maybe a Little Toasted

When you think “designer”, you think jeans, purses and the like. There are also license plates, furniture, clothing, cars, trucks, boats and just about anything designed to make yourself unique, just like everybody else.

There are a few things that I think would be nice designer items, and since they’re impossible, at least now, who knows, in 10 years?. Yeah, Dear Readers, in a mere decade the following scientific discoveries will be common place:

genetic manipulation so that a pound of chocolate in one sitting will melt away with no more taxing exercise than, say moving from my artist’s garret which is about 3 feet from the couch, or, in the case of real overindulgence, the fat would vanish say after a 10-foot walk to my bed.

A vacuum cleaner that takes commands, and can pick up anything:

“Pick up the cat hair in the TV room.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes. And make it snappy.”

“Here goes — grrrrr.”

“Yikes” Willy, the cat. “Lenny, lookout”

“No! Not the cat hair that is still attached to a cat! I mean the stuff on the floor.”

“Well, you didn’t specify. A tool is only as good as the person using it.”

“Yeah, you’re a tool all right.”

Oh, yeah, number 3. We’ve already done number 1 and number 2.