Closure
that never exsited
just a closure that i need for myself and to those who needs it maybe?
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Dear ex,
Time flies huh ? if we were still tgt it would be a great few years with you. Honestly, i dont know how to forget you and like live my own life normally. I still rmb your birthday, your favourite color, your favourite food, your favourite animals and how u were excited about things you loved and how you always loved spending time with me. I still remember how u love star gazing, and how you wanted to do so so so many things with me. This might sound crazy but i remember how your hugs felt. You were my safe space. Ive come to a point where i dont cry over you anymore sometimes i just get reminded of you and i think about our memories and i just smile knowing that those were worth something to remember but i dont want to remember it anymore. i really wished you knew how much courage it took of me to let you go, to you it was so easy just letting me go and you just treat me however you wanted, it really hurted like crazy, i hope you dont ever do that to any girl again becsuse no one deserves to be treated like this. I honestly wished you appreciated me as a ex. I also wished you knew that i was serious about you, because i know how insecure u were and how u are a overthinker and i always always want you to feel safe. But im sorry also that its my first time being a girl friend, Im sorry i wasnt good enough for you i hope you know i tried i really did. i never wanted to play your feelings, i just wanted to grow with you. But everything is over now. Thank you for teaching me how to love someone. I still remember u told that even tho we broke up u wanted me to stay close to God just like how i always told you, i was kinda touched. Its crazy how i couldnt get over you and all of a sudd when i saw that you were talking to another girl i did just let you go. For once i felt happy for you that the girl you want likes you too. I hope dont ever try to re create our memories with someone else, create new memories just dont recrate ours let it die with the dignitiy it deserves. We were on the same team when we were together, but i hope we still are on the same team now, just that theres no “ us” but just you and me, I meant it when i say i want to smash every dream, like go ahead in life! Go do what you want, live to the fullest with all your heart. And… i hope you hope the same for me too. Sometimes i wonder if you ever ever think about me like how im doing in life when u hear my name. Cause we went from knowing every detail about each other’s day to knowing nothing at all. Its crazy how you were my everything and now i have the least of you. I hoenstly cant imgaine myself being friends with someone i promsied and wanted be together with forever But i guess it really taught me that “ Somtimes people are meant to meet but not meant to last” Im honestly so happy that we ended, because i know very very clearly from the start actually if we really lasted i wouldnt be happy in the end. if you were to ask me if i regreted getting together with you my answer would be no, because you really did loved me and our relationship taught me alot about life and i think these lessons are worth more then anything, i love the person i have grew into and it was a great experience with you. Honestly.. thank you my love for loving me. Even tho we didnt end well but i hope the best for you from the bottom of my heart, i really do. Kinda sad that i have to give myself the closure that i needed but thats okay. You will probably never see this whole message sadly, well.. Goodbye, time to let you go from my heart completely. I hope you know there was once a girl who wanted it to be you so badly :)
