Made of Memory
I’ve been carrying you
for so long
a presence made of memory,
absence,
and what could not be returned.
I forgot when it started.
it wasn’t loud,
just heavy —
the kind of heavy
you slowly get used to.
Love with nowhere to go,
a loss I never learned to name.
It stayed in my chest,
day after day,
not getting worse,
just… there.
I thought
this was simply how it would be
missing you,
hurting you,
loving you —
all at once.
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Until one ordinary night
when nothing happened,
and somehow
everything shifted.
The ache didn’t disappear.
It just stopped hurting.
The weight lifted
just enough for me to breathe.
What remained was not pain,
but peace —
a warmth spreading through me,
as if my heart finally learned
it could remember without breaking.
I still know you mattered.
I still feel you.
But it doesn’t crush me anymore.
I didn’t lose the love.
I just stop bleeding from it.
And for the first time in a long while,
I smiled
from relief.
