Everything is in one head
Losing the direction
After finishing one big thing I felt so nothing for everything. Losing motivation, direction, and feeling. I don’t really know why. Every day feels so heavy cause i just do what I should do without any sparkling to do those things. I am so busy every single day but I am not satisfied with what i was doing, i just felt exhausted, only that was not the other thing. I was trying to sleep well but it did not change anything. Maybe not sleeping what I need but speaking to someone about my situation. Having a lot of people doesn’t mean having someone to comfort everything, everyone has their own problems. However, if i keep everything alone it feels like it will blow up someday.
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Pressure both inside and outside hunts me always. Every voice circling in my mind often. Standing without really standing on the feet. Following everything without knowing what i do, probably only for pride and ego. Sacrificing myself only for something that doesn't have meaning for what. Waking up with no idea for the day, just waking up cause i'm still alive. There is nothing special, every day is the same. No someone to talk to, no spark to do anything, and only live. Eum, maybe it likes walking dead.
Recently I've been questioning everything. What do I do? What is your purpose? Goal? Aim? For what you spend a whole day without feeling enough? Every day losing its sparkling. You feel nothing, not sad, not happy, just flat. In the bottom of your heart there are a lot of things I wanna do. However, i lost the spark, i lost the happiness, i lost the motivation, i lost the goal. I lost my mind. Everything is hunting me without understanding what it means. In one head, but everything is there, overload and overcapacity.
Asking everyone what they are gonna do in this situation but their answer is nothing special, cliche in my mind. I concluded that i am the problem here, overthink everything. It is a simple task actually, it is just my mind thinking too much for that so making me don’t do anything even though i know what is necessary for me. I am the real problem here. Everyone is right to answer my question but only me who thinks that it is cliche.
I am the real problem here, excuse too much, wondering too much, wanting too much, and too much of everything. It’s just because I want to finish soon but I don’t do anything well and properly, so here i am, the problem.
