Pam Our Situationship Is Over
We Both Knew It Would End Some Day
I remember the day we met. This white boy was captivated by your look and presence. Your yellow skin was a novelty. You were always available, though never chasing after me. Yet our needs had drawn us to each other, usually in the early evening when I was in the midst of having to avoid a sticky situation…….my needing to satisfy an urge.
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You’re an amazing lover! So present in the moment. So giving…..your idea of foreplay was my initial caress…….getting straight to it and always insisting I finish first. I was honored that you quickly came to trust me with your secret, your sincere red faced embarrassment but openness in describing how it made you feel…….and asking me years later would I help you achieve it again……this time prepared with no judgment. I’d never experienced that before but once I understood your need for afterplay…….the rubber sheet on your mattress made perfect sense. Your explosive response to my touch was just as satisfyng for me witnessing it as the release must have been for you…….messy to be sure……but so worth it! I never tired of getting you there…….always achieving it became ‘our thing’. I felt a bit off quickly leaving you like that but you insisted saying you were fine and I came to like not having to engage in an awkward pretense. Our’s was a relationship built on honesty, a situationship.
I know I’ve been a stranger of late. Everything is fine and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed our time together these past 18 years. Your presence, the touch of your skin, your taste, your honesty. I could never forget you. However we’ve changed, and we no longer share ‘our thing’.
I’ve met someone and we’re at the point where she wants to be exclusive. She reminds me of you, a tanned tropical beauty from a land of sea and coconuts. And she squirts too which also reminds me of you…..the best of you……before you changed.
We both knew we would eventually come to an end. No I’m not treating you as though you’re “fucking disposable”. I’m sorry you feel that way, though I get it. I suppose I deserve that. I hope we can remain friends. Goodbye Pam, your cans are great.
https://c8.alamy.com/comp/E8C4X0/an-aerosol-can-of-original-pam-cooking-spray-E8C4X0.jpg
