Member-only story
Holotropic breathwork #16
Stairway to Heaven
Us Against the World
Four days ago, I finished another breathwork, one in which I was the Lion. I was mad about it.
Today, I was prepared to continue that work. My stomach felt sick as soon as the music started, maybe before. Maybe when I woke up in the morning, knowing I was going to breathe. I skipped breakfast. I drank some tea. Then I made my cocoon of blankets and pillows in the corner.
Because there were so many of us, small groups were assigned. I picked the facilitator that pushes my buttons, the one that reminds me of my brother. He simultaneously makes me feel loved and he makes me feel uneasy. Reminds me of Randy.
My stomach felt sick. The music started. I began to breathe. Like usual for me, it was easy to begin ‘seeing things.’ The memories of my brother came first. Nice ones for a change.
Randy tried to take care of me when we wer young. He was sweet and protective. I remembered picking cherries in Traverse City with him and our grandparents. I felt loved.
Randy and I had divorced parents. Our sister left the house when we were young. He was my constant. He was my person. He was my world. He and me, it was us against the world. Had he told me that, I wondered, us against the world? I have…
