Member-only story
His Definitions
Prose from SHS.
I hated that even after he was gone
he defined some things:
How a hand feels intertwined,
A lip sucking,
A bulge growing.
Telling myself the new things I was experiencing were better
— incomparable to what we’d had —
didn’t make the process of rewriting
those definitions any quicker.
My muscle memory
in alliance with my trauma,
made it a long arduous process
to evict his essence so
it could no longer taint
the affections of my new love.
Letting him go, even after he was gone,
was not a matter of conscious choice.
In the sleepy fuzz of night
I’d mistake that it was his hand
curling around my jaw,
pulling my face in for a kiss,
and I’d snap away from it,
only to blink and realize
I wasn’t back there and I wasn’t with him.








