A Tale of Toxic Love
We have known each other for four years. Built a myriad of memories. Had our share of fun. Seen the good, bad and ugly. But the spark is dead now. No more chemistry. No more meaningful days together. None of the warmth we first felt. Why care about it though? Why keep up with the pretense that is our relationship? Spending time together has become a compulsion rather than a celebration. An ordeal that has to be rushed through, not a moment that has to be savored. I do not know if the feeling is mutual. Perhaps it does not matter much to you.
After all, it was I who came to you in the first place. It was not in my nature to take such a step, but my friends persuaded me to go for it. Carpe Diem! A tale to recite for many years, I remember thinking. You did not welcome me with open arms but you did not repel me by any means. And in a couple of meetings we took to each other like a fish to water. We shone at social gatherings and my friends enjoyed your company too. With you by my side I felt invincible; ready to take up any challenge and come out on top. You showed me a way of life which had been alien to me for the past 16 years. As I basked in the glory of my new found social stature, I marveled at the fact that you could turn my world around in such a short span of time.
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That was the time when things started to fall apart, at least for me. Even at the outset we seemed like an odd couple. I was the nerdy introvert and you were a firebrand. I feared this and started becoming apprehensive of your behavior. At times, I felt that you were completely over-powering me. All the time spent with you was enjoyable still, but it came at a cost. I kept missing work for you and all my free time was wrenched apart. You lingered on my mind all day and this obsession kept diverting me from the task at hand.
I felt the urge to cut you out of my life. Remember the time when I tried to ignore you so hard? My mind told me I was better off without you but my timid heart submitted to the overwhelming desire. When we got back together it was an incredible feeling. We had a great time the next few months. Your dominant behavior seemed to have receded and we were making peace with each other.
However, this was only a temporary respite.
Fast forward to the present and I have realized that you are a parasite. You have the incorrigible ability to leach the blood and soul from my mind and body. Time and again I have been put in positions of mental and physical stress. These days when you are around, my brain seems cluttered. My windpipe constricted. Your domineering behavior has knocked the air out of my lungs. But I won’t put up with you anymore. No matter how much you try to convince me, I will not be tantalized. Our association has been bitter-sweet but it is time we end it.
Dear cigarette, I quit you.
