Turkey Day…We Can Do Without the Turkey

Yep, we are one of those families. We love our sweet potato casserole with canned sweet potatoes and marshmallows. Best part of Thanksgiving dinner, hands down. Fight me.

And we also love green bean casserole with frozen green beans, cream of mushroom soup, and fried onions. This one comes a close second.

Making Thanksgiving dinner was a family affair this year. The kids made pumpkin pies, two different ways (#pumpkinpiewars), the day before and each got to make one of the casseroles. I had a very interesting revelation about pumpkin pie, which I’m sure Mom will write about later. (Wow! Are you clairvoyant?~Terri)

I prepped the stuffing (can you call it a stuffing if you aren’t stuffing it into the turkey?) by baking and drying out some sourdough bread. I tore it into pieces rather than cutting it into cubes after watching an Alison Roman Thanksgiving video. Mom’s kind of obsessed with Alison Roman at the moment…

After sautéing some onions, I added in some celery. I might have sautéed a leek with the onions. I honestly can’t remember. I think you did, but I could be wrong.

I chopped up some green apples and parsley, tossed in some craisins and promptly forgot the walnuts and pecans. I like a nutty crunch in my stuffing. Oh well; it was still good. Then it was time for melted butter and some of the turkey stock that had been simmering on the stove all morning along.

I love how bright this looks and with the torn bread, it looks rustic and light.

We decided to spatchcock the turkey to cook more quickly and evenly. I watched another video and got an idea for the rub. The turkey had been dry brined for two days in a cooler in the garage and on the second night, we rubbed a mixture of lemon zest, rosemary, and kosher salt onto the turkey. We added a little bit more salt before putting into the oven.

I saw another YouTube video for mashed potatoes and modified the recipe to create some really, really good mashed potatoes. We cooked the small yellow potatoes and then used the ricer. Meanwhile, we had some cream, chopped garlic, and rosemary on the stove in a small saucepan which we then added to the potatoes (after straining out the big stuff) along with some melted butter. The texture and flavor were perfect and went really well with the turkey.

I have to agree, for once. Those mashed potatoes were the bomb!

Once the turkey was out of the oven, we set it aside to rest while I worked on the gravy. I combined a few recipes to create a delicious gravy with the perfect texture. The kitchen was a bit of a whirl at the last minute so we have no pictures of that process.

The turkey was perfect if you like turkey. Most of us (my husband is the exception) could do without the turkey and just enjoy the sides. I could do without the turkey and the stuffing and just eat the casseroles. And maybe the mashed potatoes. (What about gravy? And cranberry sauce? You need both of those.~Terri)

I’d made cranberry sauce the day before. I love my cousin Lilian’s recipe which calls for fresh cranberries, orange zest, orange juice and sugar. It is so easy and is the perfect accompaniment to lighten up the gravy and butter- laden meal.

Get Cooking with Rei’s stories in your inbox

Join Medium for free to get updates from this writer.

Remember me for faster sign in

I’d been drinking Gruet sparkling rose as I cooked and it worked well with dinner…light and crisp and cut through the fats. Rei tried a Martinelli’s sparkling blush and said it tasted just like their regular sparkling apple cider.

After dinner, Zeke got busy with the dishes while Rei and I put together the leftover pies.

This is our second favorite part of Thanksgiving and the main way that we eat leftovers. We started with a layer of mashed potatoes followed by turkey and then stuffing and then the two casseroles. Zeke thinks he got the idea/recipe from Men’s Health about 15 years ago. This is hands down the best fucking part about Thanksgiving. I could go without Thanksgiving dinner and just eat leftover pie for lunch every day for like a week. Hmmm… Hey, Mom! I have an idea for Thanksgiving next year!

We played Cards Against Humanity as we were preparing dinner.

This year we had enough leftovers for two pies. We used store-bought pie crusts and simply put a second pie crust on top and then baked for about 30–45 minutes just to bake the pie crust.

After our dinner settled, it was time for pumpkin pie. Adam’s is on the left and Rei’s is on the right. Adam’s is made from canned pumpkin pie filling in a store bought crust. Rei’s is made 100% from scratch with a pumpkin we got at Farmer John’s in Half Moon Bay at Halloween.

And the winner is…both? Neither? Rei and I don’t really like pumpkin pie. We are discussing what we will make for next year because we don’t want this. Zeke and Adam may still want pumpkin pie so I imagine that Adam will be making his from the can. His tasted like my childhood which isn’t a bad thing. I could have used Cool Whip instead of freshly made whipped cream, though.

The Cool Whip we had as kids was always slightly frozen. I don’t know why my family never bought Cool Whip just in time (had to spell that out for Rei) but always had it in the freezer. But I digress.

Et voila! The big reveal of our pumpkin pie revelation! Pumpkin pie is kinda gross not gonna lie. It is basically baby food with a crust. Yuck. And the flavor is all funky, and it’s just a horrible experience for all involved. Plus you probably spilled filling onto the oven rack or walls when you put the damn thing into the oven, and now you have to go clean that up, but it burned while you baked the pie because you can’t just stop baking the pie to clean up the oven and then put it back in and get it all messy again, so you have to go and get a freaking chisel or jackhammer or something to get the crusty burnt pumpkin residue off the bottom of the oven, and it’s a mess, and the dog is whining at the door to go out, and the cat is getting into the turkey, and you just found out your husband is cheating on you with the mailman and they’re eloping on Saturday, and the world is descending into chaos all because of THAT DAMN PUMPKIN PIE —

Okay, maybe I don’t hate pumpkin pie that much. That was a slight theatrical exaggeration. Anyways, my point still stands. Pumpkin pie=baby food.

Slight theatrical exaggeration? Understatement of the century. But Dad did have to clean the ovens after Thanksgiving so you might have a point there.~Terri

Adam’s handprint..sigh..he was so little

Rei, anything to add now that all of the leftovers are gone (the last of the stuffing went to the birds, well, more specifically to the chickens)?

Here’s the SparkNotes:

• pumpkin pie=baby food
• turkey is completely optional and irrelevant
• Adam was super tiny once upon a time
• I needed to reapply my lipstick in that one picture
• uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
• have a splonkutubularck day!
• Rei
• Terri
• :)