Member-only story
My Old Ass
Considering my future self
Yesterday at our all-staff meeting, I told my team that I was leaving to pursue another position. I get along really well with my team. They are warm, loving, and supportive. I’m not leaving my job because of the people. I’m leaving my job because the work has become simultaneously under-inspiring and overwhelming, and I’ve grown out of the grind of the 9 to 5. I’m too old for this job. I want something quieter and less harried.
After 13 of my team members shared what they are working on, it finally came to my turn. I gave an overview of the projects I’m working on and highlighted some recent activities. Then, averting my eyes from everyone in the room, I said, “I have some other big news…. I’m leaving.”
“What?!” exclaimed one of my favorite co-workers from across the table. “You can’t leave. You’re my OLD ASS.”
For those of you who haven’t seen the movie, My Old Ass is about a girl who does mushrooms on her 18th-birthday and hallucinates her witty 39-year-old self into life. She calls her future self “my old ass.” The old and young asses form an ongoing relationship where the old ass dispenses lots of life wisdom to her younger self. It was my favorite movie of 2024.
My co-worker, my young ass, is in her early 30s. We collaborate on several projects and share many similarities…
