These Songs Are Fire!
Never Show These Songs to An Arsonist
Don’t give them more ideas
Music is a great tool.
It’s been around for centuries upon centuries, and it continues to inspire people today.
I feel that some music can inspire certain crowds in a not-so-good way, so here are ten songs that I would recommend not showing to anyone who has a thing for turning stuff to ash.
Girl On Fire — Inferno Version by Alicia Keys, Nicki Minaj
This song is just drawing too much attention to key attributes of arson.
Not only is this girl on fire, but she’s in an “inferno version.”
It doubles down on the concept, and therefore no person who deals in flame should ever hear it.
When Did You Get Hot? by Sabrina Carpenter
Upon researching this song, it has come to my attention that it has been part of a viral trend on TikTok or whatever.
So, my fear is that arsonists will glom on to that trend in the context of before-and-after footage of a house they just set ablaze.
To The Fire by Bon Jovi
To clarify, it isn’t “To The Fire” as in go to stoke the flames.
The lyrics very clearly state that “I don’t want to fall to the fire.”
Some arsonists might not understand that no means no, and that if someone doesn’t want to get “lit” in that way, they might end up on the wrong side of the law.
Think before you burn, folks.
Burning Down the House by Talking Heads
This shouldn’t be difficult to understand.
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Stop burning houses, guys.
Set Fire to the Rain by Adele
Scientifically, this is impossible.
I just think that Adele is just giving bad ideas to arsonists by releasing this song.
Don’t try this at home, kids… or outside your home, either.
Dancing In The Flames by The Weeknd
It’s one thing to set something on fire, but you would have to reach a certain level of madness to dance among the flames you’ve ignited.
I highly recommend not doing this.
Start A Fire by John Legend
I think I need to address the fact that you don’t have to start fires.
If you don’t like the way something looks, there are probably other more effective ways of changing it. Try asking it nicely.
You’d seriously have to be off in la la land to think that starting a fire is a good idea.
Disco Inferno by 50 Cent
Disco has no business being torched by anyone.
I get that everyone has their own taste in music, but you don’t set a whole genre on fire if you harbour such vitriol for it.
She’s Kerosene by The Interrupters
This song just hits too close to home.
Using arson-oriented euphemisms in relation to a person can lead to misinterpretation, and we just cannot afford for more people to get burned as a result of the wrong person hearing this song.
Hot in Herre by Nelly
I think this should be fairly obvious, but the reason it’s so hot is because these arsonists just keep setting goddamn fires!
Stop it.
Get help.
Frankly, I do see the irony in writing a whole article trying to discourage arson, which simultaneously provides them with free ammunition.
Just don’t burn stuff. It’s not cool… it’s hot!
