Random Acts of Kindness
Being a parent really changes you. And not just in the “I now can change a diaper in 4.5 seconds flat” kind of way. (Although that applies too.) It makes you more selfless. For the first time in your life, it’s no longer about you — your needs come second. Parenting also makes you more altruistic, as it’s your responsibility to teach your child kindness and the importance of giving to others. And when something horrendous happens — something of epic proportion, like a natural disaster, or worse yet, a tragedy caused by human evil — we feel a gravitational pull to band together and show our children that the world can be a good place, and it’s our responsibilities to make it so.
This is exactly what the world did after the Newtown tragedy. People’s hearts were shredded. Parents around the country felt emotions we’d never felt before. We felt sadness. We felt pain. We felt threatened. We felt scared. And our hearts bled for the families who were suffering. Collectively, we needed something to do — something to make ourselves feel better. Something to make the people of Newtown feel better. Something to make the families feel better, if that was even possible. So we sent cards. Flowers. Snowflakes. We set up fundraisers. Facebook pages. We poured our hearts out. We wrote about it. Talked about it. Cried about it. And we still do. We will for a long time.
Personally, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the news stories. I needed to feel the pain and the sadness. I became obsessed with the stories and interviews. Day in and day out, for over a week, I sought out these stories. I was a glutton for punishment. I had to be. It was pain that, as a parent, needed to be felt alongside those grieving. And then I read about Ann Curry’s “20 Random Acts” or “26 Random Acts” initiative and my heart, which had been empty and sad for a week, filled with oxygen again. I started swapping the sad, sensationalist stories for these amazing soundbites about people doing kind things for other people. Stories of America healing and growing. And it warmed my heart. This was what we needed to get beyond this evil. We needed a reminder that we are capable of good. That we’re not all monsters.
So with a full house expected over the holidays, I headed to Target to stock up. I stocked up on cookie ingredients and Tupperware and tags. I printed out slips of paper explaining to the recipients what they were getting and why. Each slip of paper was dedicated to a victim, and I named the victim on the tag, because they deserved it.
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Once our family and friends arrived, we couldn’t stop talking about what we were going to do. Everyone was so excited to participate. We talked about paying for people’s coffee at Starbucks. Donating blankets and biscuits to a local animal shelter. Singing carols at a senior center. The ideas just started flowing. On Christmas morning, with the kids’ fed and their hands all washed, we set up shop in the kitchen and churned out dozens and dozens of cookies. And while the kids napped, the boys and the grandparents went out to start spreading some love. My in-laws took some cookies and gift bags filled with chocolates and treats and set out to surprise some people. They came back glowing. Some recipients hugged them. Some people cried. They were so excited and pumped up by it all. The boys headed to a local movie theater and paid for some movie tickets and passed out scratch and win lotto tickets. One mom, there to see a movie with her young daughter, cried when my brother handed her the gift card. Reactions like this make you realize just how much we all need a little kindness in our life… wouldn’t you say?
Then my girlfriend Erica and I packed up the kiddos and headed out to hit up local fire and police stations. Certainly, these first responders who had to work on Christmas Day deserved a little sweet surprise from three of the cutest kiddos around. And surprised they were. Our first firehouse stop, the men were inside cooking themselves a communal Christmas dinner. They were speechless when we showed up and handed them our containers of cookies.
The second fire house was even better than the first. The men invited us in and happily offered to give the kids the full treatment; a tour of the trucks, the firehouse, their own fire hats and badges, and a chance to turn the truck lights on. This was a perfect example of “do good unto others and good will happen.” Score!
After our final police station drop, our trunk was empty, but our hearts were soaring full. If it hadn’t been dark out at this point, and time for dinner, we would have kept going. The positive energy was palpable.
We healed a little from the tragedy of Newtown with each random act of kindness we did. But what I think we also did was start a new family tradition — one we will carry out each year on Christmas day. And who knows? Maybe we’ll inspire others to join in on it too, and maybe — just maybe — it will spread beyond Christmas day and just become part of our daily living. Because really, in the end, doing and being GOOD and spreading the love are the only things that matter.
