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The Machine
You don’t have to like Bert Kreischer to like the movie; you just have to not hate him
Bert Kreischer’s comedy isn’t for everyone. He’s loud, crude, and has an excruciating voice when he gets excited. He’s like a giant capybara.
Some people judge him by the company he keeps, and if you’re of the mind that Joe Rogan is a racist conspiracy nut, then you might have a hard time giving his buddy Bert a chance. I like Bert’s stand-up just fine, though he’s not my favorite. I was curious about The Machine because I knew it was based on a “true” story he’s been telling onstage for years.
How true is it? I’m sure it had been embellished even before it was made into an action movie, but if even 10% of it is factual, then it’s pretty wild.
Apparently, when Bert was in college, his Russian class took a trip to Russia, where he ended up partying with a bunch of mobsters for an entire week. And the mobsters loved him. The movie plot involves him returning to the scene 25 years later at gunpoint to find a missing watch that has sentimental value to a powerful crime family he crossed paths with back in the day.
Beneath the main plot is a subplot about fatherhood. There’s tension with his oldest daughter after his buffoonery led to her arrest and the suspension of her driver’s…
