How happy are you? And if you are happy, why are you happy? And if you’re not happy why not?

Part Two of “How to be Happy”.

What are the 10 traits of happy people? How do they do things differently? How do they view things differently?

Bottom line? Happiness is a decision — you decide every day whether you’re going to smile or not.

And always remember the pen trick! (Go to 1:07 in the video at the bottom of this post for more information!)

Your decision to smile will actually help you be happier.

But why? What is it about happy people? How do they think differently and what did they do?

Number One: Connection

They have a strong connection with the social fabric of people that they know.

Studies show that online friends are okay, but it’s those face-to-face interactions with real live human beings that matter. Not artificial intelligence BOTS. Real, face-to-face interactions.

Happy people also stay connected with their families. I love George Burns’ saying:

“Happiness is having a large, caring, close knit family that lives in another city.”

Having that connection to your neighbors, your place of worship, and your personal friendships. They have been shown to act as a buffer to depression and creating those strong meaningful connections of people that help you not be depressed.

The rates of depression and people who are depressed are increasing at a rapid rate. Matter of fact, the World Health Organization says by 2020, depression will be the second leading cause of death by suicide.

SHOCKING!

The disconnection from family, the disconnection from community, the disconnection from those in your place of worship. That disconnection actually leads to a higher incidence of depression. Number one is the fact that people have in-person family, friends, a knit community that they can turn to.

Number Two: Use Your Talents

Happy people engage in activities that fit their strengths, their values, and their lifestyles. Using their God-given strengths and talents, they get out in the world and participate in society.

For example. When you have a goal for physical health and you get out and exercise. Happy people do the same thing with their emotional goals — of how they want to think and behave.

It’s engaging in activities that fit your strengths and your values.

Number Three: Gratitude

Gratitude. Having a grateful heart and a grateful mindset can help you cope with trauma and stress. It’s also good for your health!

Focus on at least one thing a day to be grateful for because gratitude dissolves negative emotions. Did you know that a positive emotion and a negative emotion can’t exist at the same time in your brain? When you really feel and think about the things that you’re grateful for, it dissipates the negative emotions. They can’t be there at the same time.

Negative emotions will go away when you think about the things that you’re grateful for! (TRY IT!)

That’s also a character strength of gratitude. Studies have shown that those who practice gratitude (or who are just grateful people in general) have a higher correlation to life satisfaction.

Movie Recommendation

Have you ever read the story of people in concentration camps during World War 2? Or Prisoners of War? The people who had a positive attitude survived.

A deep, soul-searching movie is “The Ninth Day” (Der Neunte Tag). Here’s the description:

From inside the hell of the Dachau concentration camp “Priest Block,” Father Henri Kremer clings to a fragile life and challenged faith. But Gestapo officer Gebhardt, a young and ruthless lapsed seminarian, arranges a nine day reprieve for the priest. If Fr. Kremer can persuade his staunchly anti-Nazi Bishop to capitulate to Nazi occupation, he’ll go free. But if he fails or tries to escape, death awaits. Torn between duty, faith, fear for his own life and for the lives of his loved ones, in just nine days Kremer must find a way to ease his conscience, protect his family, hold on to his faith and uphold his vows.

You can read more about it on IMDb.

It’s an extremely moving story, and (spoilers!) Fr. Kremer ends up going back to the concentration camp. But when he does, he’s now so full of love and peace and gratitude and joy that he starts ministering to everybody else there at the concentration camp.

Being grateful — and having the habit of gratitude — also increases your self-esteem. When you’re grateful, your self-worth and your self-esteem rise. So practice gratitude.

Number Four: Optimisim

Happy people have the habit of thinking optimistically. Do you find yourself “seeing red”? (Learn more about the color red here!)

Always trying to look for the best in any situation.

Happy people get rid of pessimism — or rein in pessimism — because they focus their time and energy on things that they do have control over.

What about the things that you have absolutely no control over? Well, why get all wrapped up in them if you can’t control it?

First, convert it into a problem-solving exercise as opposed to complaining. Second, move on. Don’t even waste time thinking about it. The road is bumpy at times. But the bumpiness ends eventually and we get on the smooth the road. So let’s just mentally move on from it because this too shall pass. Third, compartmentalize. Compartmentalize the bad things that you can’t do anything about. And just focusing on the things that you can do something good about.

Number Five: Kindness

Random acts of kindness.

Have you ever done that? Like buying a cup of coffee for somebody behind you in Starbucks. Holding the door for someone. Looking someone in the eye and smiling and saying hello.

Research has shown a strong correlation between helping behavior and people’s health, longevity, and well-being. You feel better just because you made somebody smile and smiling releases endorphins for both of you. You’re both happier. What can you do today to a total stranger, knowing that you’ll never get anything back in return? That’s the true definition of “being good and doing good”.

Number Six: Joy

Happy people understand that material wealth is not success and true happiness. It can help. It can make things a little bit more comfortable at times. But that shouldn’t be the be-all-and-end-all goal to accumulate a lot of money. There is a limited number of joyful things that “things” bring to us.

At the end of the Great Depression, a study was done to measure people’s happiness scale. The Happiness Scale was right around 8.0 (on a scale of one to ten).

The Happiness Scale of people in 2015 was 7.2.

“Things” don’t make us happy. Actually, people who strive for money and strive for things to surround themselves with in the long run have a lower rate of happiness.

Number Seven: Strategies

Coping strategies. Similar to compartmentalizing and learning to change things into a problem-solving exercise as opposed to being overwhelmed.

There’s something called Post-Traumatic Growth, which is a positive personal change after a traumatic incident. There are five factors of growth after a challenging event.

1. A renewed appreciation for life. If you’ve ever had a close brush with death, you have a stronger appreciation for life.
2. Recognizing that there are new paths in your life. When something horrible happens, you re-evaluate. There are other options you can pursue. Different paths.
3. Enhanced personal strength. Have you overcome something major? Has something horrible happened in your life, and you lived to tell the story? You are already a survivor! If you did it once you can do it again. There’s nothing that life can throw at you that you can’t handle
4. Improved relationships with others.
5. Spiritual growth.

Make sure you take a tragedy and turn it into a symphony!

Number Eight: Growth

Happy people focus on their physical, mental, and spiritual health.

Happy people act like happy people because they’re working on their emotions. They’re trying to grow emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. They bring a level of optimism and happiness and engagement into their everyday activities.

It’s like watching a child play with a toy. Or the wonder of seeing something for the first time, like the first time you saw the mountains. Or the first time you saw the ocean, or a beautiful sunset. That sense of awe and wonder and joy and happiness. Take that into everything that you do today and see how you feel differently at the end of the day!

Number Nine: Spirituality

Happy people cultivate their spirituality.

There is a growing ever-growing body of scientific evidence that says spiritual people are happier people. They’re happier. They’re healthier. They recover faster after trauma. They recover faster after health problems. Having a strong spirituality and faith assists you in every area of your life. It helps you connect to something outside of yourself. To something bigger and understand that, “It Ain’t All About You. It Ain’t All About Me.” We’re part of a bigger network of people and spirituality.

Number Ten: Goals

Happy people have direction. They have goals. If you don’t have a target or a goal to aim at, how are you to get there?

Do you plan for vacations? Or do you say, “Hey, let’s hop in the car and go to Disney World, but we don’t have a map. And we don’t know where we are. We don’t know which way to turn and what road to turn on.”

How are you ever going to get where you want to be if you don’t have a map and a plan to get there?

Happy people have values that they care about, and outcomes that they know are worth working for. So having direction and having a goal is essential.

They have that Emotional Intelligence — they’re aware of that and they’re working toward it.

Which of these 10 habits and strategies do you currently use? Which ones do you want to work on this next month?

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Perfume Secrets!

Perfume tips, tricks, and tools everyone should know.

A fragrance should be whispered, not shouted…

Are you still wearing the same perfume you wore in high school? Has it become an old scent, instead of a signature scent?

Times change. There are new perfumes and new things to learn! So, if you want to move on and discover your true signature scent, or perhaps buy a gift for someone, you’re in the right place!

Today, we’re going to learn all about perfume, fragrance, cologne, scent… What is it?

(Below is the video — subscribe to my YouTube channel and click the “bell” to be informed when new videos are released!)

History of Perfume

Before we dive in, let’s take a look at some of the history of perfume (coming from the Latin, ‘perfumare’ and the French, ‘parfum’, meaning ‘to smoke through’) with the Greeks.

Originally, pleasant smells were a reminder to the Greeks of their gods’ proximity, or that they were being blessed with the fragrance. It was important to them as a means of hospitality as well, and when a guest arrived in their home, they would bathe their feet in perfumed oils, and even practiced aromatherapy.

Bathing rituals were also important in their culture, as they were very clean people and pleasant smells were so closely tied to their beliefs. In fact, fragrances and oils were so important to the Greeks that they used them in ceremonies for birth, death, romance, and weddings.

In weddings, special scents were thought to be a good omen that would ensure a positive union between the man and wife.

Funerals were defined by the Greeks using perfumes on the shrouds in which they wrapped the bodies of their dead. They believed that if the bodies smelled good to their gods, they would be more graciously welcomed into the afterlife.

The true art of making perfumes originally started in Ancient Greece and Mesopotamia, where the first recorded chemist was a woman named Tapputi. Distilling flowers, oils, and other aromatics was what she did first, then she would filter it and distill it over and over to make her fragrances and scents.

She spread her knowledge and the Greeks had a great system of distilling their fragrances. However, later on, the Romans and Persians perfected many of those arts.

Evolution of Perfume

It wasn’t until the 16th and 17th centuries that the true modern idea of perfume began to form.

The belief that perfume is used to mask body odors came from this time period because wealthy people who had access to everything they wanted did not take the time to bathe. Because of this, they would spend their money on scented oils, and used it to cover up their body odor instead of bathing.

Giovanni Maria Farina, a perfume maker from Italy, who was living in Germany, became one of the biggest influences on modern perfume. From his home in Germany, he wrote to his brother, Jean Baptiste, who still resided in Italy, and said, “I have found a fragrance that reminds me of an Italian spring morning, of mountain daffodils and orange blossoms after the rain.”

Inspired by this, he named his fragrance ‘Eau de Cologne’, in honor of the town he was living in: Cologne, Germany.

‘Eau de Cologne’-the Many Meanings

‘Eau’ is also a French word, meaning ‘water’, so the name for this fragrance would roughly mean, ‘Water of Cologne’. As you can see, that’s the origin of the modern term ‘cologne’, but it has really come to have three different meanings.

Originating from Farina, the first meaning of the word is just any fragrance that is citrus-based, since that is the original meaning of Eau de Cologne.

As time went on, the second meaning of cologne came along. It was then understood to be a lighter, less-concentrated interpretation of an existing perfume.

Where the first definition was just a scent of a citrus base, now it has evolved into an idea of a more diluted product that is more cost-effective. Not everyone could afford heavy oils, so this lighter product was available to more people.

Finally, the third meaning of cologne is how we tend to use it now: exclusively a man’s fragrance. So, the three different meanings that have evolved over the years all came from an Italian man living in Germany, who was reminded of his hometown.

Power of Fragrance

Today, we have discovered that fragrance is 150,000 times more powerful than vision, which the perfume industry has really built itself around — the power of fragrance.

Different scents can elicit different emotions, such as feelings of power, relaxation, or sexual desire; they can warn us of food gone bad, of a fire coming, etc.

Pleasant smells are also closely tied to a woman’s decision of how worthy a man is of being her partner. In a conversation with my friend one day, she said that, “I love how my husband smells — not his cologne or anything, I just love cuddling up next to him at night. I love how he smells.” So, you may not realize it, but pheromones and natural scents are very powerful.

Smells can also have an impact on your job performance.

Just as the Greeks used oils for aromatherapy, researchers discovered that certain smells will help you focus better, such as peppermint. It’s proven to increase alertness, improve performance, and sustain attention over time.

Another powerful scent is lavender. It’s helpful for relaxation, and people find someone more trustworthy if they enter a room smelling like lavender!

Pleasant scents are powerfully associated with memories, like grandma’s house, baking bread, chocolate chip cookies, etc… Smelling something musty and being reminded of helping grandpa out with a job in the basement is an indicator of how powerful the sense of smell truly is.

Why Perfume Costs Vary

So, what are the differences between all the perfumes we see at the store?

You could see something for $400 an ounce, $58 an ounce, or $48 an ounce. What’s the difference? It depends on how they are distilled, whether it’s in alcohol, water, or oil.

Now we’ll look at the differences between Eau Fraiche, Eau de Cologne, Eau de Toilette (which means ‘cloth’), Eau de Parfum, and true Parfum.

Least Expensive Fragrances

Eau Fraiche — Often referred to as ‘mist’, ‘splash’, and ‘aftershave’, this will probably last you about an hour. It consists of 3% or less perfume oils or aromatics.

Oftentimes, this is more popular among men than women, since they use it as a balm for their skin after shaving. Eau Fraiche is also alcohol based, so it will help in closing pores.

The oiliness of your skin determines how long a scent will last. Perfumes last longer the oiler your skin is, so if you have oily skin or put moisturizer on after a shower, your fragrance will last about 2 hours.

However, if your skin is dry, it may only last about 15–20 minutes.

Eau de Cologne — A little more concentrated than Eau Fraiche, EDC will last 1–3 hours. It is 3–8% perfume oils or aromatics and is very common.

Because of the lightweight nature of this product, you can use it all over the place — neck, inner elbow, wrist, behind the knee, maybe even behind the ear or over the heart.

However, if you wear a fragrance for a while, you grow used to the fragrance and don’t smell it anymore, so be careful not to form a Pig Pen cloud and throw yourself into it.You don’t want to be so smelly that your odor is a slap in the face as soon as you enter a room.

Be careful, too, of rubbing your wrists together after applying your scent. They do this often in movies, but when you use friction, it raises the temperature, denatures the scent, breaks it down and destroys it. Remember to apply very lightly in tiny dots!

Higher-End Fragrances

Eau de Toilette — Generally the strongest men’s concentration you will find, at 5–15% perfumed oils or aromatics, it will last from 3–5 hours. Apply this at the neck, wrists, and behind the knee. Because of the concentration, be sure to use tiny dots and dab, don’t rub!

Eau de Parfum — Far more concentrated than the rest, sitting anywhere from 10–20% perfumed oils and aromatics, this will last you about 3–5 hours.

With this higher concentration, sometimes you start paying for the name so the prices will vary. All you need with this perfume is two spots: a dot at the neck and then the wrist, or behind the ear and the wrist. Remember, don’t overdo it!

Parfum — With 40% perfume oils or aromatic compounds, this is very rare. Since it’s a pure perfume oil and not alcohol based, you’re going to pay very good money for this.

They come in tiny, $400 bottles. Very expensive, but very concentrated and will last you about 12–15 hours. You could either spend $50 on an Eau Fraiche and reapply it all day, or spend $400 on an Eau de Parfum or Parfum oil and it will last you forever!

Again, with the oil, you only want a dab in two spots because it is so concentrated and you don’t want to go overboard with it.

There you have it — everything from Eau Fraiche, to Eau de Cologne, to Eau de Toilette, to Eau de Parfum, to a perfume oil. As they increase in concentration, the price will also increase, but so will the value and quality.

Always remember when putting on your signature scent in the morning, a fragrance should be discovered, not announced; it should be whispered, not shouted.

Manners maketh the man!

What are the top manners for kids (children)? For Toddlers? School?

NOTE: Watch the video below! And if you would like a copy of today’s notes, send me a Facebook message by clicking here, and ASK ME FOR THE MANNER’S NOTES!

At their core, etiquette is much more significant than just being able to follow certain rules and regulations in our dealing with others.

It’s an example of our character and virtue —

Manners are morally good inner character traits that are exhibited in an outward manner.

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Our actions actually show and reveal our true heart and our character.

How do we treat others who can do nothing for us in return?

They also give us structure, which is necessary for our Faith and in our lives. Formal manners help make structure second nature. Structure and kindness — or charity — are necessary for a civil and Christian society.

Our goal?

Christ-like love toward all, regardless of position, income, race, or appearance.

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Grab a beverage and settle in to learn more about the Top 25!

Get a text message (or mail) from me when I go LIVE with the direct link to that show. Click here. (If you’re on your mobile, text @ch-live to the number 81010).

Gratitude

We all know about gratitude. How important it is to be grateful, and we do try to be, don’t we?! So on this show, we’ll cover 5 Ways to be More Grateful!!!

From “Coffee with Colleen”: A Facebook LIVE program. Want to receive a Facebook Message when I go LIVE? Click here to open Facebook Messenger and send me one word:

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About Colleen

Colleen Hammond mentors people who are ready to transform their digital image, personal image, or business image for success. In 30 days or less, Colleen teaches women how to take the “guessing out of dressing” so that they will look incredible and feel confident every day of their life.

The founder of the Total Image Institute, Colleen is a former on-camera meteorologist for the Weather Channel turned Executive Image Consultant and Personal Brand strategist, coach, and mentor. She helps women craft their personal brand through their clothing choices, manners, and poise to build self-confidence and empower success — because people WILL judge you in less than 7 seconds based solely on what they see!

Clothing choices — What clothing choices are best for your body type, personal coloring, personal style, and the message you want to send? Because different colors, different prints, different patterns, and even pointy-toed shoes all send a specific message.

Body Language skills — learned from an FBI profiler.

Writing and Book publishing — as a best-selling author, Colleen also teaches writing and book publishing.

In front of a camera for over 40 years — first as a model, as Miss Michigan National Teen-Ager, an On-Camera Meteorologist at the Weather Channel, and as an anchor and a reporter. Colleen coaches people on being in front of the camera, and how to produce profession LIVE programming here: bit.ly/obspros

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Be on Time!

Are you on time? 20% of people are chronically late. And the other 80% are impacted by them!

On this episode of Coffee with Colleen, I offered you seven tips to always be on time!

Do you know people who are chronically late? I do. The people you always know are going to be late. The ones who you tell you’re leaving at 3 pm, when in reality you plan to leave at 4 pm?

Most chronically late people don’t do it on purpose. Most of them don’t enjoy being late. Very rarely do people think, “Yeah, I’m going to be late on purpose so I can make an entrance!”

If that’s the case, then there are other issues going on with them!

Experts say that being consistently late sends a message to your friends, your family, your co-workers, the people you’re trying to impress that you are:

1. Easily distracted
2. Disorganized
3. Egotistical
4. Inconsiderate

My dad raised us, God rest his soul, to always be 15 minutes early.

Does that mean you show up and knock on someone’s door 15 minutes early?

NO!

You plan to arrive 15 minutes early in case there’s traffic. In case you have a flat tire. In case you hit every red light along the way.

And if you do get there 15 minutes early, guess what? You can sit down the block, or in the parking lot, and do some meditation. Answer some e-mail. Check your Facebook. Do whatever other little things need to be done.

Dad raised us to show consideration for other people by always being there when you say you’re going to be there.

To help you do that, here are seven tips to always be on time.

Number 1: Admit it if you tend to run late.

It’s frustrating when some people won’t accept the responsibility that they tend to run late. They’ll blame circumstances — like their children or the traffic.

If you’re occasionally late — and, of course, if it’s true — you can use those excuses.

But consider this: when’s the last time you were on time? Are you “on time” only half the time?

If you’re not sure, ask family and friends, “Hey, am I late? Or am I on time?”

They’ll tell you if they love you.

Number two: Determine “why” you’re late.

Find out why you’re chronically missing the time-slot!

Some people are adrenaline junkies. They get high on all that racing around or running around from event to event on their calendar.

They get a rush from rushing around!

It may also be your temperament. So check out The Four Temperaments course.

Find out your temperament!

Other times, people use their time as a power play. That’s just about being egotistical. These people think, “I am so important that other people will wait for me.” So they will be late on purpose.

Sometimes you’re late because you’re chronically overbooked. You have too much on your calendar so you can’t get from one event to the next without being late because you have too much going on.

Or it may be bad time management. There’s also my course, Putting Your Day on Autopilot.

That course is currently closed. But I teach how to have most of your day “done for you” by developing routines.

Number three. Stop poly-tasking!

You’ve heard of multitasking? There’s really no such thing. It’s Poly-Tasking! It’s more than doing two or three things at the same time — we’re trying to do 18 things at the same time!

You’re trying to do way too many things. So the first step is to learn to say “No.”

So people who multitask, or poly-task, are usually the ones that are late.

Some people say, “Yes, but I can multitask!”

We’re fooling ourselves. Because your brain cannot think of two things at the exact same time.

It’s like saying you’re going to look at one wall on your right, and at the same time that you’re looking at the wall on the opposite side of the room.

You can glace back and forth between the two walls rapidly in a millisecond. But you can not focus on two walls at the same time.

It’s the same thing with your brain. Your brain can’t focus on two things at the same time.

Some studies say that once you’re focused on something and you’re distracted, it takes up to 20 minutes for your brain to get to peak focus again on that same topic.

Put down your electrical devices and prioritize! Put “being on time” in your “Urgent and important” quadrant (which we talk about in the Auto Pilot course). Make being on time urgent and important.

Number four. Preparation. Routines. Rituals. Habits.

Prepare to be on time, put it on your list, and make it a priority. Set a timer.

There are so many different apps — whether it be your maps app on your phone, or the Waze app — that if you put in your address and the time you want to be there, the Waze app will tell you when to leave.

Use electronics to help you to be on time.

Prepare. Make sure that you’re not running around like a chicken with your head cut off, as grandma used to say, at the last minute looking for your keys.

Everything has a place, and everything needs to be put back in its place.

Put your keys, your wallet, or your purse in the same spot. Decide what you’re going to wear the night before.

Number five. Murphy’s Law.

You know Murphy’s Law: if something could go wrong, it will. Prepare for running into traffic. That there may be an accident. That you will hit all the red lights along the way.

If you prepare for that ahead of time, you’ll know that you need to leave early and prepare it.

Plan on being there 15-minutes early so that you can sit in the driveway (or sit down the road) and answer email.

Number Six. No “magical thinking”.

Some people are very optimistic (some say “unrealistic”) and that’s why they’re late.

They’re overbooked, and still say, “Oh, I can do it!”

The truth is, they lack time management. They’re adrenaline junkies run around a lot at the last minute but still say, “No problem. I can be there.”

Even if it’s an hour away, they may say they’ll be there in 20 minutes.

Be careful of this “magical thinking” and instead assume things are going to take you 20% longer to accomplish.

This also means deadlines: like a writer’s deadline, or a deadline for a project at work.

Like this scene from Star Trek:

Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Yeah, well, I told the Captain I’d have this analysis done in an hour.

Scotty: How long will it really take?

Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: An hour!

Scotty: Oh, you didn’t tell him how long it would *really* take, did ya?

Lt. Commander Geordi La Forge: Well, of course I did.

Scotty: Oh, laddie. You’ve got a lot to learn if you want people to think of you as a miracle worker.

Researchers call it “planning fallacy”. People tend to underestimate how long a task is going to take them. Probably because we have “magical thinking” — optimistic thinking that we can get it done if nothing goes wrong.

For example. This morning I knew that in normal circumstances, I can get ready for this show in 20 minutes. But this morning, since it’s been a month since I’ve done the show, I planned a full hour! And it’s a good thing I did, too, because many things went wrong.

So if you think something’s going to take you 30-minutes, give an extra 20 percent and plan 36 to 40 minutes.

Number seven. It’s OK to be early.

Usually, that’s the first thing that somebody says to me: “Yeah, but if I plan to be there 15-minutes early, isn’t that rude?”

Well, yes — If you went into their house!

Being early doesn’t mean going in. You can sit in the parking lot. You can call your mother. Or send your mom a text. (I’m sure she’d appreciate that!) Or do some self-care by setting your timer and doing some meditation. Sit in the car and meditate instead of playing video games on your phone!

It could be time for you just to sit, take some deep breaths, and relax.

What do you do to help you be on time?

In this video, I go over the 10 traits of happy people.

NOTE: Subscribe to my YouTube channel by clicking here, then click the bell!

What are the 10 traits of happy people? How do they do things differently? How do they view things differently?

Bottom line? [Tweet “”Happiness is a decision. You decide every day whether you’re going to smile or not!””]

And always remember the pen trick! (Go to 1:07 in the video for more information!)

But your decision to smile will actually help you be happier.

But why? What is it about happy people? How do they think differently and what did they do?

Number one. They have a strong connection with their social fabric of people that they know.

Studies show that online friends are okay, but it’s those face-to-face interactions with real live human beings that matter. Not artificial intelligence BOTS. Not online, social media friendships. But real, face-to-face interactions.

Happy people also stay connected with their families. I love the George Burns saying:

“Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family that lives in another city.”

Having that connection to your neighbors, your place of worship, and your personal friendships. They have been shown to act as a buffer to depression and creating those strong meaningful connections with people that help you not be depressed.

The rates of depression and people who are depressed are increasing at a rapid rate. Matter of fact, the World Health Organization says by 2020, depression will be the second leading cause of death by suicide.

SHOCKING!

The disconnection from family, the disconnection from community, the disconnection from those in your place of worship. That disconnection actually leads to a higher incidence of depression. So have an in-person family, friends, a knit community that you can turn to.

Number two. They engage in activities that fit their strengths, their values, and their lifestyles.

They’re out in the world using their God-given strengths. Using their talents. Participating in society.

For example. When you have a goal for physical health and you get out and exercise. Happy people do the same thing with their emotional goals — of how they want to think and behave.

It’s engaging in activities that fit your strengths and your values.

Number three. Gratitude.

Having a grateful heart and a grateful mindset can help you cope with trauma and stress. It’s also good for your health!

Focus on at least one thing a day to be grateful for because gratitude dissolves negative emotions.

“A positive emotion and a negative emotion can’t exist at the same time in your brain! Practice gratitude!

When you really feel and think about the things that you’re grateful for, it dissipates the negative emotions. They can’t be there at the same time.

That’s also a character strength of gratitude. Studies have shown that those who practice gratitude (or who are just grateful people in general) have a higher correlation to life satisfaction.

Have you ever read the story of people in concentration camps during World War 2? Or Prisoners of War? The people who had a positive attitude survived.

A deep, soul-searching movie is “The Ninth Day” (Der Neunte Tag). Here’s the description:

From inside the hell of the Dachau concentration camp “Priest Block,” Father Henri Kremer clings to a fragile life and challenged faith. But Gestapo officer Gebhardt, a young and ruthless lapsed seminarian, arranges a nine day reprieve for the priest. If Fr. Kremer can persuade his staunchly anti-Nazi Bishop to capitulate to Nazi occupation, he’ll go free. But if he fails or tries to escape, death awaits. Torn between duty, faith, fear for his own life and for the lives of his loved ones, in just nine days Kremer must find a way to ease his conscience, protect his family, hold on to his faith and uphold his vows.

It’s an extremely moving story, and (spoilers!) Fr. Kremer ends up going back to the concentration camp. But when he does, he’s now so full of love and peace and gratitude and joy that he starts ministering to everybody else there at the concentration camp.

Being grateful — and having the habit of gratitude — also increases your self-esteem. When you’re grateful, your self-worth and your self-esteem rise. So practice gratitude.

Number four. The habit of thinking optimistically.

Happy people are always trying to look for the best in any situation.

They get rid of pessimism — or rein in pessimism — because they focus their time and energy on things that they do have control over.

What about the things that you have absolutely no control over? Why get all wrapped up in them if you can’t control it?

First, convert it into a problem-solving exercise as opposed to complaining.

Second, move on. Don’t even waste time thinking about it. The road is bumpy at times. But the bumpiness ends eventually and we get on the smooth the road. So let’s just mentally move on from it because this too shall pass.

Third, compartmentalize. Compartmentalize the bad things that you can’t do anything about. And just focusing on the things that you can do something good about.

Number five. Random acts of kindness.

Have you ever done that? Like buying a cup of coffee for somebody behind you in Starbucks. Holding the door for someone. Looking someone in the eye and smiling and saying hello.

Research has shown a strong correlation between helping behavior and people’s health, longevity, and well-being. You feel better just because you made somebody smile. And smiling releases endorphins for both of you, and you’re both happier. What can you do today to a total stranger, knowing that you’ll never get anything back in return? That’s the true definition of “being good and doing good”.

Number six. Understanding that material wealth does not equate to success and true happiness.

It can help. It can make things a little bit more comfortable at times. But that shouldn’t be the be-all-and-end-all goal to accumulate a lot of money. There is a limited number of joyful things that “things” bring to us.

At the end of the Great Depression, a study was done to measure people’s happiness scale. The Happiness Scale was right around 8.0 (on a scale of one to ten).

The Happiness Scale of people in 2015 was 7.2.

“Things” don’t make us happy. Actually, people who strive for money and strive for things to surround themselves with have a lower rate of happiness.

Number 7. Coping strategies.

Similar to compartmentalizing and learning to change things into a problem-solving exercise as opposed to being overwhelmed.

There’s something called Post-Traumatic Growth, which is a positive personal change after a traumatic incident. There are five factors of growth after a challenging event.

1. A renewed appreciation for life. If you’ve ever had a close brush with death, you have a stronger appreciation for life.
2. Recognizing that there are new paths in your life. When something horrible happens, you re-evaluate. There are other options you can pursue. Different paths.
3. Enhanced personal strength. Have you overcome something major? Has something horrible happened in your life, and you lived to tell the story? You are already a survivor! If you did it once you can do it again. There’s nothing that life can throw at you that you can’t handle
4. Improved relationships with others.
5. Spiritual growth.

Make sure you take a tragedy and turn it into a symphony!

Number eight. Happy people focus on their physical, mental, and spiritual health.

Happy people act like happy people because they’re working on their emotions. They’re trying to grow emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. They bring a level of optimism and happiness and engagement into their everyday activities.

It’s like watching a child play with a toy. Or the wonder of seeing something for the first time, like the first time you saw the mountains. Or the first time you saw the ocean or a beautiful sunset. That sense of awe and wonder and joy and happiness. Take that into everything that you do today and see how you feel differently at the end of the day!

Number nine. Happy people cultivate their spirituality.

There is a growing ever-growing body of scientific evidence that says spiritual people are happier people. They’re happier. They’re healthier. They recover faster after trauma. They recover faster after health problems. Having a strong spirituality and faith assists you in every area of your life. It helps you connect to something outside of yourself. To something bigger and understand that, “It Ain’t All About You. It Ain’t All About Me.” We’re part of a bigger network of people and spirituality.

Number ten. Happy people have direction.

They have goals. If you don’t have a target or a goal to aim at, how are you to get there?

Do you plan for vacations? Or do you say, “Hey, let’s hop in the car and go to Disney World, but we don’t have a map. And we don’t know where we are. We don’t know which way to turn and what road to turn on.”

[Tweet “How are you ever going to get where you want to be if you don’t have a map and a plan to get there? “]

Happy people have values that they care about, and outcomes that they know are worth working for. So having direction and having a goal is essential.

They have that Emotional Intelligence — they’re aware, and they’re working toward it.

Which of these 10 habits and strategies do you currently use? Which ones do you want to work on this next month?