We’ve ALL had them. That one ex who gets under your skin any time someone mentions their name. That ex who still somehow ends up on your feed and you cringe at the sight of them. That ex who did you dirty when all you did was do right by them… that ex from hell.

Well, I’m here to tell you that if you feel this way about your ex, you are not healed. Negative vibrations stem from unhealed parts of our souls that have yet to mend and mature. While you’re consuming your life with, “why me’s,” your ex has since moved on and isn’t even thinking about you.

Here are five reasons why you shouldn’t bash your ex.

5. Bashing your ex is low vibrational

I know break ups can sting a little but listen, you have to know that bashing your ex is a low vibe. These days everybody’s talking about auras, vibrations, frequencies, levels, spaces, negativity and positivity. Bashing your ex is the lowest frequency you can be on. Don’t get me wrong, living in your truth and being honest about what happened is perfectly fine but wishing death on them is not. Acceptance is a sign of true healing and high vibrational thinking.

4. Bashing your ex is a waste of time

Bashing your ex is a complete waste of time though everyone’s done it. Who wants to hear you ramble on and on about what they did to hurt you? It makes you wonder are we adults or are we still in high school? Use your time to concern yourself with more important things. Stop wasting your time.

3. It robs you of the lesson you NEEDED to learn

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a very spiritual and intuitive person. Even though I may not go to church every week, I know and firmly believe in God. I believe that every person we meet comes packaged with a valuable lesson we NEED to carry on with the rest of our lives. We often forget that we too are lessons to SOME people and the same “villain” we make others out to be is who we are to someone else. We just hate to admit it. We’ve broken hearts and disappointed people the same way our exes disappointed us. Face it, there was some lesson you needed to learn. Whether it was learning to be alone or learning how to not stand for anything less than what you deserved, you learned something from them. You shouldn’t be bashing them. You should be thanking them.

2. You could meet this person again… just with a different face

This ties in with the reason above. Usually when you don’t learn your lesson the first time, the same test will come back around to try you again. I’ve spoken to many people who say their new boyfriend/girlfriend is “just like” their ex. Sometimes they even LOOK like them. I understand we all have certain tastes and preferences that’ll cause us to date people who look similar but when all of the behaviors mirror those of an ex, it MAY mean you need to be tested again. So don’t bash your ex, accept, forgive and heal so that you can move on and possibly meet a genuine and loving person.

1. Face it, YOU chose them at one point

While it’s pretty typical for humans to bash exes, I think a lot of us forget that WE were the ones who chose them in the first place. Admit it, your entire relationship wasn’t all bad, even if what they did to you was horrible. You guys had some good times, lots of laughs, great convos, whatever. Everything wasn’t negative and you cared for them at some point in time. What your break up could say to you now is, take your time with choosing someone to be in your life. You may have missed out on some crucial red flags your ex waved in the beginning but now you know better. Take responsibility for the choices you made concerning your relationship and know that life is better when you’re not worried about your ex.

CSW❤️🙏🏾

The Sunday Evening Effect

It’s 7:00pm on a Sunday evening and you’re home with family watching tv. Everything’s cool until suddenly, your smile begins to fade and feelings of anxiety replace the feelings of comfort and ease. Monday is peeking around the corner and you want to run and hide. Like clock work, your disdain for Monday’s rears it’s ugly head. You hate Monday’s.

It’s a societal norm to hate that dreadful day that starts a new work week. Memes and quotes flood our time lines as we have our coffee before heading in. People are unhappy with the day as if the day itself does something to us. What if I told you Monday isn’t your problem, OUR MINDSETS ARE?

I hated Monday’s because I was unhappy with the decisions I made.

I was once a Monday hater and it was because I wasn’t satisfied with the way my life was going. I was working at yet ANOTHER job that I hated and I hated the choices I’d made leading up to that point. It was just an ongoing cycle of hatred and negativity. I wanted out. I made the decision to quit my last job because i couldn’t find the positives in it. It was a source of income yes, but it cost me my dignity and in the end, MY SANITY! I knew it was time to go and leaving was one of the greatest choices I’ve ever made.

If only we used the same power we had to make poor choices and made better ones… we’d be better off. We wouldn’t even think twice about Monday.

Monday should be the perfect motivation for you to work on your passions.

Monday should be looked at as a fresh start; an open door to start something new. Actually everyday you’re alive should be an opportunity to start fresh. You don’t have to ONLY enjoy your life on Saturdays and Sundays. Make some adjustments and start enjoying your life as a whole.

You can learn to enjoy Monday’s if you adjust your life to the temperature that pleases you. It’s understandable to be unhappy on certain jobs but know that you always have a choice. You can look for the positives and focus on those, you can start looking for another job, you can quit -like I did. Just know you ALWAYS have a choice.

I challenge you to dedicate your Monday’s to your passions. If you hate Monday’s, make that your day to dive head first into what you love. Before you know it, you’ll look forward to Monday’s coming around. It’ll begin to feel more like a new chance at life than just another dreadful Monday. ♥️

I’m sick and tired of this shit. I can’t wait to go home. I hate this fucking job. I hate my boss. I hate doing this shit. Damn I really hate this tv show. I hate my hair, it needs to be done. I hate the way I look. I am not cute. I’ll never find love. I’ll never be happy. I look so ugly today. I hate the way… blah, blah, blah! CURSE, CURSE, CURSE. You may not believe in the power of words but believe it or not, your thoughts and words have an insurmountable amount of power behind them. What you think and feel for yourself will manifest before your very eyes.

Think about where you are and what you’re doing right now. In a way, any time you’ve doubted yourself or said, “I’ll never do this… I’ll never do that” you set yourself up for failure and you have no one to blame but yourself. You’ve manifested the life you’re living right now. It’s easy for us to blame other people and circumstances for us being where we are, but it takes great courage to look within and see where you’ve fucked up YOURSELF.

I take full responsibility for the downfalls in my life. Now that all of that is out of the way, I’m taking the steps that I need to take in order to live the life that I truly want to live. I try not to focus on whatever lack I may (or may not) have. I try my best not to focus on the negatives in my life. I’ve trained myself to always find the good in every situation. It’s not always easy but it’s worth the try. I said to myself, “Girl you’ve focused on every negative thing in your life up until this point and just look. Your life is filled with negativity. Why don’t you try to think positive and see what manifests?”

Now when I wake up in the morning I thank God for another beautiful day. I speak out my affirmations while I’m still in bed. Your daily affirmations can be whatever you want them to be but if you have trouble coming up with some you can find my, “50 Powerful Affirmations to Live By,” article right here.

Your voice, whether you believe it or not, is magic. What you think and say begins to take shape in your life. If you’re always finding a problem for every solution, more problems will continue to come your way. When you wake up, think of the qualities you want to carry. Think of the life you want to live and act as if you already have it.

I know there are different religions out there but the bible says, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7. Every second of the day your energetic thoughts are CREATING. You are manifesting what you want (and most times what you don’t want) by the amount of time you spend thinking about it.

I remember talking to one of my friends who is in a healthy and loving relationship with a beautiful family. I asked him, “how did you get so lucky?” He told me that he KNEW the life he wanted to live and he manifested it by thinking on it and believing he was worthy enough to have it. He and his wife are now happily expecting their second baby! This is an example of having what you desire. I had grown accustomed to looking at all of my flaws and the negative aspects of my life and myself, I never even believed that I was worthy to have anything good. This conversation shifted my thinking.

In conversations with my boyfriend, I was able to recognize the power of manifestation in his life. I remember he called me and told me about getting booked to do an alcohol commercial. Then he follows this sentence up with, “I always said I would do an alcohol commercial.” Even something as simple as saying, “I’m going to do (insert amazing things you want to do here)” will send higher forces out into the universe to work on your behalf. Seeing this manifest in his life gave me so much hope for my own life. Notice how all things come together in your life… and trace it back to the words and thoughts you’ve had before.

My life isn’t perfect by any means but its so much better than it was. I manifested a positive outlook ON MYSELF. I know my worth. I know what I deserve. I love myself and who I’ve grown to be. I love how I look and how funny I am. I love how creative and strong I am. I love how friendly and encouraging I am and most of all I JUST LOVE ME and I know that I am deserving of all the things God has for me. Guess what? SO ARE YOU.

So take it from me, stop cursing yourself. Stop looking at your past mistakes and condemning yourself. Stop looking at the mistakes of those who came before you. You can do anything you want to do and become anything you want to become. Let your first thoughts when you wake up and your last thoughts before you go to sleep be meditation for what you truly want out of life.

If you haven’t read my piece, “I’m Mean AF but I’m Sensitive About It” you can find it here.

WARNING: This piece is filled with the word, “bitch.” If this is offensive to you, feel free to read one of my more peaceful articles about forgiveness here.

The truth is, I am a multifaceted woman. I am open to giving and receiving the love that God has destined for my life but I’ve also had the space to hate, dislike and be vindictive towards people who hurt me. Though I’ve experienced different levels of feelings and I’ve shown divergent reactions to certain situations, one thing I’ve never given up on is my ability to feel remorse for the things that I’ve done. The spirit of love that flows through me for other people, won’t let me stay in bitch mode. I’ve had the interesting experience of seeing people do things without regard for other people’s feelings. Sometimes I wish I could be that way but that’s just not how I am naturally.

At times I’ve felt like the black sheep of the world. We live in a space where shade and dragging people trumps love and having compassion. People are naturally drawn to what’s negative rather than what’s positive and that explains where we are energetically as a people. I, though at times I’ve been tempted to become the bitch I know I can be, refuse to do so. The love I have in my heart for humanity won’t let me do it.

When I’m hurt or feel attacked, that bitch I know I can be, rears her ugly and comes out swinging. She doesn’t think, she just reacts and once everything is said and done she disappears and the loving side comes out to pick up the (many) pieces. THE BITCH I KNOW I CAN BE, comes in like a tornado destroying everything in her path. She’s out to ruin everything and everyone that even looks at her the wrong way and she gives no fucks who she hurts in the moment. That bitch will say and do things that I normally wouldn’t say or do. That bitch will physically destroy a room with her fists with holes riddling the walls and items being tossed to and fro. That bitch is even liable to put her hands on someone out of anger… even though its been years since she’s done so. The truth is, though I do react out of fear, sadness, hurt and anger, I am NOT completely, THAT BITCH I KNOW I CAN BE.

I can be that bitch… YES I can do this… but what’ll it do for me? How will it benefit me or help me to become my highest self ? Honestly and truly, I am the type of woman who wants to bring out the best in other people. When I love, I love hard and that could be why THAT BITCH can be such a monster. I love people in general. I want to see people reach the highest heights that they can. I genuinely enjoy seeing people grow, heal and level up. I take it upon myself to help people in any way that I can because I feel like that’s why God allowed me to have another chance at life, to help others. It’s what I love and I wouldn’t want to be any other way.Thankfully, these reminders are the things that flood my mind when I allow THAT BITCH to show up for a little while.

Now don’t get me wrong, like my birthday twin the Queen Muva Badu said, “I choose peace but say… don’t walk up on me wrong. This tea and incense will turn into colt 45 and Newports if NEED be… ok?” This is all facts. I’m loving. I’m peaceful. I’m forgiving. I’m compassionate… but don’t take my kindness for weakness. In fact I feel my ability to love is a strength and if someone takes advantage of this, you will meet THAT BITCH sooner than later.

I’m a Pisces and a life path 9. According to astrology and numerology, I’m DESTINED to love humanity so THAT BITCH has to take a seat… and she will… as long as you give the same energy I’m giving. At the end of the day, I know I’m super human and I know that I am rare and not a lot of people think like me but I also know that I am just merely a woman learning, growing and discovering on this journey called life. I’m failing, I’m succeeding, I’m growing and falling on my ass, I’m unsure and I’m certain, I’m mean and I’m loving… the dichotomies project themselves in my life and in every situation I am allowed to choose what path I will go on. Hopefully, I will choose peace more often than not and to be frank…I think I’m doing pretty damn well so far.

Peace.

Read this every day for 21 days.

1. I am loved.

2. I am worthy.

3. I am loving.

4. I am loved.

5. I am fulfilled.

6. I am successful.

7. I forgive.

8. I am forgiven.

9. I am emotionally stable.

10. I am mentally stable.

11. I believe good things about myself.

12. I believe good things about others.

13. I live in my truth.

14. I am confident.

15. I am beautiful.

16. I am intelligent.

17. I am calm.

18. I am at peace.

19. I am strong.

20. I am independent.

21. I am a giver.

22. I am open to receive.

23. I am kind.

24. I live a life of abundance.

25. I can do it.

26. I am caring.

27. I am considerate.

28. I have healthy relationships.

29. I make the right connections.

30. I am courageous.

31. I am established.

32. I am constantly attracting wealth.

33. I make the right decisions.

34. I am fun.

35. I am happy.

36. I am wealthy.

37. I love who I am.

38. I am debt free.

39. I am safe.

40. I am friendly.

41. I embrace success.

42. I am fearless.

43. I create my own reality.

44. I think positively.

45. I am here for a purpose.

46. I trust my intuition.

47. I attract all that God wants for me.

48. I am an idea magnet.

49. I am free.

50. I have broken all generational beliefs that have limited me from becoming who I truly am.

1. Say what you mean and mean what you say — your words carry a certain amount of power when it comes to your significant other. Be mindful.

2. Be honest — though it’s important to be mindful, being honest is a winner too. Sometimes you have to talk about things you don’t really want to. Sometimes you have to address the elephant in the room in order to grow together. Don’t be afraid.

3. Be open — don’t close yourself off from your partner. If they did something to offend you, say it, talk it through. The silent treatment is reserved for kids. If you’re in love with your partner, say it. Just be open.

4. Don’t stop pursuing — Relationships go through different stages and everything isn’t always rose gold, but if you know this is the person you want to be with then don’t forget to stir up that old energy from the beginning.

5. Allow for some space — There is no need to be up in your partner’s face every second of the day. You both have other things to do and need time to get them done. Be solid in your connection. Just because you’re both busy at times doesn’t mean you don’t love each other. You just have things to do and that is okay !

6. Make Time — At the same time, not making time for one another can be damaging to a relationship. Learning how to balance in this area can help your relationship.

7. Have Fun — Everything doesn’t always have to be serious ! Go to an amusement park, play a prank, go skating, dance to some music… do things that’ll keep the laughter rolling in.

8. Make Love — Life can get busy and with that comes a lot of time spent on making other things in our personal lives work. Don’t forget to keep the intimacy strong.

9. Call instead of text — Texting has its perks, it’s convenient and you can respond at your own pace. Pick up the phone sometimes especially when you guys haven’t spent as much time together. It’s always nice to hear your partner’s voice.

10. Work it out — There are some cases where working things out just won’t work. That’s understandable. That’s okay. That’s life. BUT if you’re fighting over petty nonsense, try to talk it out before going to sleep. Going to bed angry is a big no no in relationships.

❤️❤️❤️

Chaos.

Domestic Terrorism.

Hate Crimes.

Shucking and Jiving.

Distractions.

Gun violence.

I’m sure everyone got something different from this video with some interpretations being more complex than others, but if you didn’t get anything at all out of this, you may need to re-evaluate where you’ve been… since the beginning of forever.

Gun Violence.

The video starts off with a man walking towards a chair with a guitar. He sits in the chair and begins to play, seemingly minding his own business. As the camera zooms in, you can see a shirtless Gambino first standing still, then he begins to dance and walk towards the man in the chair who is now briefly out of view.

When the man comes back into view his head is covered, guitar gone and he’s sitting in the chair like a zombie, lifeless. Gambino shoots the man in the head and another man comes and takes the gun from Gambino while two other people drag the body out of the scene. Could this be symbolic of the dreams that die with innocent victims of gun violence? Could the shooter (Gambino) be viewing his victim as nothing, hence the covered face? Yes. Those who choose to take lives don’t value or respect human life and all that comes with it. They look at their victims as nobodies, just vessels for their own destruction. And the fact that the body was so quickly removed from the scene shows how fast we forget such trauma in our world.

Just Having Fun or Easily Distracted?

The scene shifts into what looks like a more light hearted visual of Gambino dancing with students. The children look happy and upbeat, quickly shifting gears from trauma to fun. In the background there’s pure chaos going on but none of the children seem to notice… they just dance with big smiles on their faces. They don’t seem to have a clue to what’s going on around them, all they seem to care about is hitting the latest dances.

There’s a car on fire, the police and civilians are running around, a man commits suicide by jumping to his death and there’s even a man dressed in all black riding a white horse, yet the kids pay it no mind. Is this symbolic of ALL OF US (not just kids) just wanting to have fun and be entertained or is this a case where too much of something can be damaging? I can see how this could be symbolic of us becoming desensitized and not giving a damn about what’s going on around us.

Hate Crimes.

In another scene, there’s a church choir singing and praising God. As you can see, Gambino comes through the door like a creep. For a moment, he dances again and the church choir PAYS HIM NO MIND. They just keep praising. All of a sudden a machine gun is handed to him and he shoots the entire choir down dead without hesitation.

This reminds me of the tragic Charleston shooting. Dylan Roof entered into the church asking for prayer and the members welcomed him with warm and open arms. Right after he received prayer, he heartlessly opened fire killing nine people. In the video, the gun is taken away from Gambino and a group of people run towards the choir, now dead. I can only assume that they were on the scene to drag the bodies away, further showing how fast we forget. In a split second, the camera is moving on the next thing like we often do in America. This is definitely a symbol of the hate some people in this country carry in their hearts towards people of color.

Now there is a scene I don’t understand and I’ve tried to sit with this over and over again to see what I receive… still nothing. Gambino is seen jumping up on an old car surrounded by other old cars while the man he shot in the first scene is sitting in his chair, alive and well with his face covered playing the guitar. No matter how intuitive, woke and deep I think I am, this one has me stuck. Still, the video gets five stars from me. The message is powerful and it shines light on how barbaric, desensitized and distracted we are.

Stay WOKE ✊🏾