Times are pretty crazy lately, wouldn’t you agree? 2020 was supposed to be the year that erased the hardships and downturns of 2019. Yet, we’re a third of the way through 2020 and things have never looked bleaker.

For many, this worldwide pandemic is the first time they’ve faced the harsh reality that life isn’t easy. Many are understanding the hard choices that soldiers make on the battlefield every time they’re sent into a battle zone. Many doctors and medical professionals are triaging patients, choosing who lives and dies en masse, for the first time in their professional careers.

The life we knew before the COVID-19 will never return and it’s time to accept that. Life as we knew it shouldn’t return. Why? The world is seeing firsthand the consequences of our mass consumption of goods, worldwide interconnectivity, and our reliance on unstable infrastructures. With a simple order to “Stay home and stay safe” communities, families, businesses, and lifestyles have been irrevocably changed, destroyed, or seen in a new perspective. It’s obvious that things must be changed to adapt to this new reality.

Well, 2020, I’m a chronic optimist and there’s nothing that can hold me down for too long. Read on to learn the tools I use daily to overcome hardship, adversity, trauma, and a little thing called PTSD.

How complicit are you in creating the conditions you say you don’t want? — Jerry Colonna

I won’t sugar coat it — change is difficult if you resist it. Change, sudden or unwanted, can leave lasting changes in your mental or physical being. After 15 months inside one of the deadliest deployment zones in Iraq, the Triangle of Death, I experienced firsthand how quickly a boy can be erased for a man to take his place.

Before the war, I was a fairly carefree person. My life wasn’t too difficult compared to some. I had food, clothes, and a roof over my head. My family struggled to provide as most families do. However, they did a great job of keeping the depths of those struggles away from the kids.

The military doesn’t. Fortunately, the military throws you headfirst into the toughest situations they can create in order to prepare you to fight as if your life depends on it… because you’ll be forced to at some point. Whether on the battlefield or on the home front when you return, your life will hang in the balance.

The demons we keep inside are the most dangerous for the human condition. They care not for your past, future, or present. They only care that they destroy.

When you’re trained to become an instrument of war, there’s a certain loss of humanity that comes with it. Sure, you’re still *you* however the edge required to set aside your humanity never dulls. It simply lingers. When you’re alone with only your thoughts that’s when it seeks to sharpen its edge. Whether it’s through an endless train of thoughts or through enacting forceful change in your environment, it must be sharpened. Or, at least that’s what the little voice in your head will believe.

Ask any veteran that’s been to combat and they’ll tell you they have an issue with endless thought loops that run ceaselessly for no other reason than to run. It’s one of the reasons that so many of my brothers and sisters choose to end their lives. 22 a day, up to 50 a day, depending on which statistics you believe.

I’ve lost count of the times I almost added my story to the faceless “22 a day” the media loves to throw around for clicks and follows. Fortunately, I chose love over fear and was able to create a path to redefine PTSD. I chose to grow instead of allowing a label to define me.

“You slipped through the cracks.”

I stared at my employer as he uttered these words… trying to contemplate why he would say such a thing. I was his best employee by far… best sales numbers, leader of the sales floor, customer favorite with a list of regulars that asked for me by name, and made him more money than anyone else in his company.

Yet, my internal struggles with PTSD at home and in the workplace gave him the impression that I was not the confident, driven, and capable person that he hired. He didn’t know what I was going through but he sensed it, somehow.

The truth is… he was right. I succeeded in spite of the war raging inside my head every single day. He didn’t know the debilitating anxiety I overcame every morning before showing up for work. He didn’t know I would sit with my handgun in my closet contemplating whether today was the day or not I said: “Fuck it.” Nor would he have cared in the slightest. To him, I was a numbers generator. To him, business was business and my problems were my own.

That stark reality became known to me when I finally did break down and ask for help, for connection, SOMETHING to show that I was wrong in thinking I was a broken shell of a man and wouldn’t be missed. Yet, all I saw in my coworker's eyes when I hit that point were opportunistic and self-serving intentions hidden behind tight-lipped smiles. To them, Mr. Perfect showed his hand. To them, it was their opportunity to advance.

In the Army, we were taught to cherish and care for the people to your left and right. This was non-negotiable. Foolishly, I thought people were wired that way. Several harsh lessons later, I realized that wasn’t the case. Yet, with that knowledge… I felt empowered.

When you realize you’re the only one who can help yourself, a sense of calm resolve settles within the mind.

PTSD is a mean little shit, to put it bluntly. You’re hyperaware of everything, everyone, every situation, and every possible scenario that new experiences or data can lead towards. Your body betrays you with the slightest of triggers (events, sounds, or visuals similar to previous trauma) and can lead to some pretty awkward or intense situations that feel completely out of your control.

I needed to develop a toolkit. I needed to find the way. I’m a Cavalry Scout, after all, and the military trained me to find the way even when facing the dangerous unknown.

“If I can survive bullets, bombs, and bullshit, I can survive society,” I told myself.

11 years after the Iraq war, I’ve developed a personal toolkit. The broad strokes of this toolkit are nothing special if I’m being completely honest. However, it’s the execution and follow-through of these 4 Pillars that make the world of difference.

Mental Health

At the core of the issue… PTSD, trauma, asshole bosses, financial uncertainty, or even a bad text message at the wrong time can and will leave a lasting impact on your mental health. Whatever your personal situation or triggers, the What doesn’t matter as much as your response.

Some escape into liquor, pills, therapists, doctors, solitude, or social media. Wherever they send their mind, it’s simply to escape the stimulus that causes them mental pain and uncertainty. Our mind needs certainty. If you’ve heard me speak at a conference, expo, or sat for one of my keynote speeches, you’ve heard me say “Control is safety, safety is survival.” You can replace safety with certainty and it means the exact same thing. Our minds, our reptilian brain, needs to make concrete decisions that guarantee survival. It used to mean food, shelter, and reproduction. These days, you can add finances, reputation, friendships, and personal power over others to those needs.

You must make a conscious decision to explore these scenarios and find your triggers. Redefine what they actually mean and how little they actually impact your life. Restructure the stories that you tell yourself about all of these scenarios.

If you control your mindset, you control your life. If you’re in control of your life (through your mindset), then you own your survival. Separate your mindset from the external and see internal growth manifest as the result.

Physical Wellbeing

It’s no secret that the body and mind follow one another in tandem. Simple experiment… Smile. Hold that smile for 60 seconds while reading this and note how you feel afterward. You’ll feel lighter, your shoulders will drop, your breathing will slow down, and you’ll feel a small rush of happiness that lingers, grows, the longer you smile.

Physical exercise and routine are some of the most important items to add to your personal care plan. Without, you may as well expect your body and mind to deteriorate over time. We’re not made for sedentary office lifestyles. We’re not made to sit and stagnate through the mindless consumption of Netflix and Tiger King. In fact, we’re made to overcome adversity and hardship.

As Marcus Aurelius states in his Meditations, there is nothing this world can throw at you that your body was not designed to withstand and overcome. Millions of years of evolution leading to you reading this stands testament to that fact.

A physical exercise routine must include components of strength training, flexibility, and cardio exercise. Choose to move and do the things you love. Do them daily. This will act as your cornerstone that you can always control no matter how bad your day or life seems to get.

Control = Safety = Survival.

Balanced and Adequate Nutrition

If you eat like shit, you’ll feel like shit. Add as many colors to your diet as you can and stay consistent. If you eat fast food and consume endless amounts of grease and fatty foods, you’re going to look and feel horrible.

If you eat plenty of vegetables, meats, and diversify your palette you will feel better. As more researchers delve into the link between the gut and the brain, the more they understand and correlate nutrition to mental health.

Eat better. Your body will thank you.

Endocannabinoid Balance

Researchers conducted an experiment to define the relationship of endorphins and cannabinoids to the effects felt during “runner’s high.” To summarize, they discovered that endorphins were unable to cross the blood-brain barrier to elicit and psychoactive effects within the brain. Instead, they discovered that endocannabinoids like anandamide were produced during physical exercise and able to act on the receptors within the brain.

As we’ve discovered in recent years, this endocannabinoid system has receptors all throughout your body from head to toe and present in all systems of the body. New theories suggest that endocannabinoid deficiency may be a cause of many physical and mental detriments. Physical exercise and mental health practices can help to stimulate the body in the ways needed to promote homeostasis whether you’re consuming external sources from cannabis or hemp products.

Whether through proper exercise or introspective practices, or consuming cannabinoids, it’s important to be mindful of this balance as we’re discovering that it interacts with our bodies in an ever-increasing number of mechanisms.

Actions taken to promote homeostasis will promote overall health and wellbeing. Make personal growth a habit.

Helping others find health and happiness through recovery from trauma is one of my life’s missions. Collecting the lessons and tools over the last 10+ years, I’m releasing a book in the coming months to help others find their path to redefine the trauma and tests of daily life. If you want to connect and join me on this journey, follow me on Twitter or LinkedIn where I regularly share insights like these.