Thinking, in itself, is important but it’s not enough. This is why effective conversation is paramount. You need to be able to listen to ideas that you don’t agree with, ideas that confront your sense of reality and that offend your sense of truth. You need to be able to freely say, “This is what I think.” and then listen as someone contradicts what you have just said. This exchange of ideas is what sharpens your position and allows for alterations of your thoughts. The goal here is to hold your ideas in one hand and hold doubt and questions in the other, then take a good discerning look at what you have. You may also find commonality with people.

My capacity for being offended is something that I should pay attention to but not something I should hold dear. It is likely that the moment I am offended is the moment that my sense of identity is being approached or challenged. This can happen in a multitude of scenarios. When someone expresses a political idea that is counter to mine, my first reaction is often to get uncomfortable or even aggravated or angry. These feelings describe being offended but they are counterproductive. If I get lost in them, they cause me to shut down, stop listening, or strike back. However, the most effective thing I can do is to take interest in those ideas. If I civilly question why they think that way and allow them room to speak freely they may reciprocate that space and dialogue and growth can happen. I say “civilly” because growth and effective conversation are dependent on our ability to be civil. I say “may” because some people will never open space for others to speak freely. There are situations and places that are not built for discussions and there are people who will not be civil.

However, the greatest philosophical transformations in my life have been when people challenged my belief systems. The first case of this was when I was 23. I had recently altered the direction of my life and became a Christian. I was young and arrogant. I saw the Bible, and my interpretation of it, as inerrant (without error) and infallible (unable to make errors). A man at my workplace saw me reading the Bible on my break and started questioning my beliefs. He would say, “Well the Catholics believe this, what do you believe?” And then followed it up with “Ok, why do you believe this?” It offended me and I was often defensive but it forced me to look at my belief system: why did I hold those beliefs, where did they come from, were there any errors in it, was there any validity in other ways to look at things? By his questions and conversations, I grew sharper in the positions I continued to hold and I was forced to alter other positions. It was probably one of the greatest single interjections into my thought life. He walked up to my identity as a Christian and began holding up a mirror while allowing me to poke holes in what I thought was there. There is a necessity in civil discourse that enables people to speak freely and challenge ideas in order to have a better or more diverse understanding of the world. It is essential to hold several ideas in your hands. Then you can look at them while discerning what makes the most sense and is the most useful to keep.

During any discourse I am in, my goal isn’t to have the immediate gratification of a “gotcha” moment where I win an argument. My goal is never to purposefully offend for the sake of being offensive. That’s counterproductive and downright ignorant. My goal is to understand an alternative position and articulate my own. I will then consider what the other person has said and hopefully they will do the same. It is inevitable that I may not articulate a thought as well as I could and it is inevitable that they may poke holes in my position. All the better.

Socrates said, “I know that I know nothing”.

Most of my opinions are not as informed and well rounded as I would like. I have to be humble enough to accept that I don’t know enough. If my goal is to understand something true, then being challenged is a good thing. We need to be challenged occasionally and to get out of the echo chamber that is your own philosophical group or your own confirmation biased mind. The alternative is to only be able to hear one narrative and for those who oppose that narrative to be silenced, or to have uncivil debate by two polar opposite opinions. Truth is usually found to be hidden in a field of nuance and, as Albert Maysles said, “Tyranny is the deliberate removal of nuance.”

In order to think through things clearly, we need other opinions and viewpoints in order to navigate into the nuance. We need civil debate to present opposing viewpoints and point out our blind spots. We need the ability to speak freely and civilly to one another.

Ideas in One Hand; Doubt and Questions in the Other was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

— A Short Poem

Photo by deborahbalves on Pixabay

As we look at the insides of humans,

We find the inside of ourselves

And each other.

What lies beneath us?

What do we believe

About the world and our place in it?

We cut down layer upon layer

And dissect the inner life.

Photo by Pixel2013 on Pixabay

One afternoon in February, I was sitting in the parking lot of a local grocery store in the pouring rain. It was freezing outside, and I noticed a man walking down the road in a T-shirt smoking a cigarette as if it were the middle of July. Why would a guy walk in the freezing February rain in a T-shirt? That was the question that birthed February Rain. My mind created a story, and I started with the idea right there in the grocery store parking lot. As soon as I got home, I started putting the words to paper. Within a few minutes, I had written the title song for the book.

Over the next couple days I kept turning the song — and the man — over and over in my mind. More songs came. I began to envision him walking away from something and began to craft a story of heartache, divorce, pain, and a pilgrimage to regain something. I saw him alone in a hotel room with just his guitar, pen, and paper writing his own story as he went.

In February Rain, he is trying to remember where he began with his wife and trying to figure out how to get back there. However, there’s a good chance that no one will be there if he does get to wherever he’s going. He’s walking a literal journey as he walks a pilgrimage toward fixing his life.

I never give either of them a name because, in a sense, he could be a lot of people. This is the lyrical story of losing everything and then wondering where you went wrong and what to do now. Can you get your life back after you’ve lost it?

This is a lot of people’s story. You don’t have to walk the footsteps yourself to get there, you just have to have lost something. We’ve all felt the emotional ups and downs of heartbreak, loss, despair, hope, and change. You may even find yourself in this lyrical journey.

Find the book on Amazon in the link below

February Rain: Lyrics of a Lonely Traveler

Photo by Momentmal On Pixabay

In the wake of Amazon opening a new Amazon Go store in Seattle a few years back, I took the chance to raise awareness of a phenomenon that I had watched happen all over the city that I live in. It may seem to be the first in a wave of innovative technology that could change the way we shop.

A store without checkout lines may seem only to be a positive thing. However, if you are mindful of the occasions where machines replace people, this has resulted time and time again in the loss of income, jobs, and shops. There are many examples, both locally and nationwide. For instance, with the rise of Redbox locations and Netflix came the decrease in local video rental stores and the local jobs alongside them. Gone are the days of Movie Warehouse and Blockbuster in the local shopping centers. The slow rise in self checkout lines at your local Walmart and fast food restaurants have become the first fruits of local job loss among retail salespersons, fast food/counter workers, and cashiers. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, these three occupations are the most common jobs in the United States, providing well over 11 million people with a steady paycheck.

Photo from U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics

Whole Foods, which is Amazon owned, recently implemented the same strategy as Amazon Go. Since the opening of Amazon Go, Kroger has added a wall of scanners that you can carry around the store. You can scan items yourself as you shop with no need for a checkout person at all. So it will go with the rise in self driving cars.

Transportation and transportation-related industries employ over 13.3 million people, accounting for 9.1 percent of workers in the United States.

Add all this to the recent effects of the Corona Virus then multiply it by Corporate need for growth in profit margins and you will get increasing unemployment rates. This is not an anti-corporations or anti-capitalism idea. It makes perfect business sense to have no employees to pay, to give benefits to, or to have to deal with. However, it only makes sense when your objective is seen through the lens of short term growth.

Every use of technology like self checkout is a vote for workers to be replaced.

If we as consumers continue to use this technology, we will indeed replace ourselves or other people in need of a paycheck. With all the talk of “job growth” it is time to also look and see instances where, because of our technology and need for quick and easy consumerism, job loss may be taking place. It is also time to be mindful about if or when we each are complicit in it.

Technological Advancement and Our Desire to Replace Ourselves was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Photo by StockSnap on Pixabay

In the Sabbath rain I find my peace;

In the still morning, with the sounds

Of birds and of water

Nourishing the ground,

Deer lie hidden in the field,

Robins come mindfully

Searching for breakfast.

All lies still and quiet;

Nothing moves without purpose.

Again the Earth receives

Its sustenance and nourishment,

As do I. Jesus said that doing the will

Of the one that sent him was his food.

I do not know what it is that sent me

Or where I’m being sent until I arrive,

But this moment is food, the stillness

Of Summer rain is my drink.

Be still and receive the cool breath

Of that which brings you life.

Reach out your hand

To the rain and be baptized

Into the life of this world;

Look no further, Heaven is here.

This is my Sabbath, this my Rest.

In the Sabbath Rain, I Find My Peace was originally published in ILLUMINATION on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

Photo by Eric Overby

The crepe myrtle blooms

Pink in the the heat of the day,

The first of August

I spent the last couple years reading, writing, and studying the history of haiku. My only prior knowledge and memory of them came from middle and high school. I was shocked to find out this was a major part of Japanese culture. Parties were formed to celebrate the mundane things we overlook each day. Poets gathered together at moon-viewing parties or parties surrounding the blooming of the cherry blossoms. Rice wine was drunk and haiku were crafted.

Winter solitude-

in a world of one colour

the sound of the wind. — Matsuo Basho

My love of simplicity, mindfulness, silence, meditation, and Eastern culture/philosophy is what led me toward the haiku. The simplicity of the haiku struck me as a mindful way of living and recording your life. Imagine a group of people who took time to notice the moon each night, climbing mountains to get closer and observe its cycles. What would the world be like if we were mindful of the blooming of trees, flying of butterflies, rising and setting of the sun, or the hair of your loved one laid out over her pillow?

I lay next to her,

The sound of her breathing fills

The room and my heart

It’s the simple things that make up the bulk of your life. The mundane is where we live and we end up missing most of it. We find it again in the silence and in attention of everyday life. It doesn’t take much to notice where you are and the things around you. It doesn’t always take a novel or a lengthy poem to express a thought. It may only take a few syllables to say all that needs to be said.

A breath of a poem

Haiku whispered in silence

Felt, here, gone, like wind

They are a breath of a poem. Short snippets that are received, sometimes from seemingly nowhere, and are over just as quickly. We pass by things every day when suddenly, like a flash of light, a great photograph helps you see something in a new way. Therein lies the beauty of the haiku.

The robin flies down

Mindfully searching for worms

Rainy June evening

Take a few mindful moments during your day to write out a haiku. Become aware of something that you would have previously overlooked. Summarize your day in 17 syllables. Preserve your life, as you live it.

Who will we become?

By living each day we will

Find out the answer

An Article I Wrote After Attending the ‘Chill Out and Proud’ Festival Last Year

Photo by 422737 On Pixabay

Last week I went to the Chill Out and Proud festival to sell my books of poetry. It was not my first gay pride festival, but it was Somerset’s. There are a few observations that I had this particular day. My observations have very little to do with morality and more to do with wanting to live in a community that can communicate.

“It’s not at all hard to understand a person; it’s only hard to listen without bias.” — Criss Jami

My first observation was that my family and I were on high alert and felt a sense of fear for the first time in my life in the town of Somerset. It was not the people attending the festival that left us feeling uneasy, but rather the protesters.

My second observation is that there were two groups of what would seem to be opposites, Christians and Neo Nazi white supremacists, standing side by side holding signs and yelling into an otherwise quiet and peaceful group of citizens. I understand everyone’s right to protest and be heard but the method of communicating our differences should be a checkpoint of self reflection.

I had a calm conversation with one of the protesters who approached me. I asked him to consider that yelling at people might result in them putting their guards up, increasing the tension, and in turn, people yelling back. It’s a cyclical deterioration where no one hears or understands one another. Anger and fear are the brothers that are born of this kind of relationship. I would say the same to those who yell back at the protesters. We are going to be a community of diverse people who do not think the same or live the same lifestyle, but if we are going to understand each other and live together peaceably, we need to find a better way to disagree. We also have to be able to mindfully listen, then search for and find our commonalities.

“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.” — Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

My last observation is that the protester also asked me why I was there, did I have a family member who is gay? He stated, “You don’t just come to these things for no reason”. I replied, “Honestly, I did start going and taking my family to gay pride festivals just to be among other cultures. It’s good to get to know people who are different from yourself.” The world’s a big place and you may find that you have more in common with people than you think or, in this case, that you know more gay people than you think. I would like to say the same to you. Somerset is a lot more diverse than you think and we have a lot more in common than you think. The only way we will love our neighbor as ourselves is by getting to know our neighbors, even in the midst of our differences.

Protesting often times takes a stance of offense; a form of violence that may not always be physical but is a form of violence all the same. Everyone has the right to be heard, but only if they are willing to really listen to others in an attempt to understand. As an atheist, I have never stood outside a church and disrupted their gathering, although I am willing to have a conversation about how my journey brought me here and how you have come to this point. For me to enter a gathering and protest is an offensive move that would cause the people involved to put up walls. It would not be welcomed and I would not do it. It would be a hindrance to us actually knowing and understanding each other.

The only way to truly know someone is by being with them, by conversation. We will not agree. There are too many of us and if we agreed on every point of life then that would be another checkpoint for self reflection. I am just asking us to practice a certain amount of hospitality no matter your beliefs about each other, whether gay or straight; whether Christian, Agnostic, or Atheist; whether Democrat, Republican, or Democratic Socialist; whether you’re the protester or the protested against; in person or on Facebook, let us contemplate mindful listening, empathy, patience, kindness, and the well-being of people who are different than yourself.

“In true dialogue, both sides are willing to change.” — Thich Nhat Hanh.

Photo by Free-Photos on Pixabay

I once took all my journals

From 3 years and burned them

In a fire. Alone,

watching the past disintegrate

reminded me of life and time. The present

Is all I had. Time slowly burning

Away each moment.

Now I’ve invited you

To sit next to me

As I watch the fire

Burn away the past. Each moment

Disintegrates as we start a new one,

Together, until we become the fire.

The Stamp We Leave On Others

Photo by winvcf on Pixabay

I’ve been thinking a lot about the legacy that I leave behind in my life. What is it that people think about when they see me or recall a memory of me? What stamp have I left in their life? I would love to say that it has always been a good one; that with the thought of me comes a sense of kindness; that my past brings a positive emotion flooding into their present. I can say with certainty that this is not always the case and this pains me. It is my goal in life to leave each place that I go better than I found it. It’s not always been a conscious goal, therefore I’ve not always done a great job at doing it.

The goal is not to be better than the other man, but your previous self. — Dalai Lama

It is said of the Dalai Lama that when he stops to talk to you, for that moment, he makes you feel that you are the most important thing in his life. You have his full attention. That’s part of the stamp I want to leave. I also want each person to remember me with fondness and with a memory of a way that I’ve helped them or was kind, even if only for a moment. I have spent a decade trying to become a better version of myself, so know that I may not be the version that you remember me to be. I hope I am more kind, patient, mindful, and forgiving than any previous days’ version. I’m working on making my life a legacy worth leaving.

“Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you.” — Shannon Alder

Photo by analogicus on Pixabay

To know your mind,

You need a little distance.

You need to be a step or two away

And be able to notice

What your mind is doing

Without being so lost or involved in it

That you can’t see it.

It’s like trying to see your eyes.

If you want to see yourself,

You need to create some space,

You need a mirror.

Stillness, mindfulness, meditation:

Those are the mirrors.

The principal enemy of mindfulness — or of any meditative practice — is our deeply conditioned habit of being distracted by thoughts. The problem is not thoughts themselves but the state of thinking without knowing that we are thinking. — Sam Harris