Just a parable…

Once upon a time, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday were relaxing by the river: watching all the people diving and swimming into the water.

“How about we learn to swim also?” Said Thursday to Wednesday and Friday.

It sounded like something to do… So Wednesday did not waste much time and jumped straightaway into the river.

He would not have been saved if it weren’t for the people around…

Thursday was afraid to step into the water, his friend has tried and he had almost drowned to death. So Thursday stayed away from the river…

Now Friday, Friday was the big daddy. He was not afraid of mistakes and knew that if he had to do something he must start from the start. So he found a pool of shallow water and he found himself a teacher. With little practise everyday, Friday finally learnt to swim. And Friday was happy…

Years later on one Monday morning, Wednesday and Thursday returned to the Weekend Village and saw Friday swimming into the river.

They were not going to wait for Sunday…

And how to be happy no matter what life throws at you …

During the past year, I have spent my life in clinical depression. Though I will not make public the reason of the catastrophe, I would ask you to deeply acknowledge that it has been hell throughout.

It took me immense amount of thought and contemplation to overcome my condition. Finally, I’m at the point that I must share what I learnt —

So, what is suffering?

Actually, there are two kinds of suffering, we all know it. The physical and the mental. I call them the Inward suffering and the Outward suffering.

Pain, injury, hunger, disease, even the smallest of things like an itch, are a form of Outward or Physical suffering.

Whilst Inward suffering is the invisible side: anger, irritation, annoyance, frustration, stress, anxiety, disappointment, sorrow, agony, jealousy, dissatisfaction … and the list goes on.

Both complement each other. Outward sensations lead to Inward agony, Inward agony disturbs Outward sensations. This is crucial in understanding suffering.

Why do we suffer?

Master Yoda said in Star Wars Ep. 1: “Fear is the path to the Dark side … Fear leads to Anger; Anger leads to Hate. Hate leads to suffering.”

Indeed, it is Fear that is the cause of all suffering. The Fear of Change.

We get so much attached to our current lifestyles, we forget the notion that we live in a universe which is in a constant flux of change.

After darkness comes the sunlight, then darkness again. We get so accustomed to the sun that we think it will never set, that there will be no darkness again.

But, sooner or later, obstructions arrive without knocking the door and all our prejudices become dust. We fall into a realm of agony and every second of our life becomes a desperate attempt to somehow hold up.

So, we start fearing moments like these; we start avoiding them. When we do so, we trap ourselves in our own net. Hence, what we thought will cause us to suffer tomorrow, starts making us suffer today.

This is but one side of the coin. It is not only Fear of what will Change that causes us to suffer, but also the Fear from what has Changed.

Infact, both of them complement each other too.

Suffering from the Past tells us how bad the Suffering of the Future can be; Suffering of the Future makes us remember the Suffering from the Past.

Regret, death, separation, break-up, divorce are some forms of suffering that make us suffer even long after we have been through the disaster itself.

Our fear of the Dark, be it from past or from future is what forbids us to see the light.

So finally, that we know why we suffer …

How to suffer happily?

Yes, you can suffer with happiness. Suffering is too crucial an experience to eliminate totally from one’s life. Though it can be done. As the Buddha wisely said: “Remove all attachment, and you must never suffer again.”

I don’t think that should be done.

Attachment is what lead us to desire, and a man without Desire is a dead man.

What we must do, in fact, is understand that change is the law nature. Before there was light, there was darkness; after the light, there will be darkness.

Darkness must not be feared of. It does not come and go. It is always there. It is the the light that occupies the dark. The trick is to live in harmony with the dark, not disdain it.

Such an example is also seen in one of the most popular and oldest of the Japanese haikus:

An old silent pond…

A frog jumps into the pond,

Splash! silence again.

Before the sound of the splash there was silence; after it, there is silence. Even during the sound, there is Silence, it is only occupied by the sound. Silence is the constant, one must not fear it.

In order to not fear the dark, to not fear silence, one must attain harmony with them.

Once we have attained harmony with the way of the universe, no matter what problem life throws at us, we must always flow with the energy around us. Once we flow with the energy around us, we become at peace.

How to do that? That’s yours to figure out. I’m not gonna be that guy who lays down all the steps in front of you. This is the plane of understanding that is different for person to person. Life is a journey, and you gotta think in order to act.

There may be many pathways around a mountain, but they all reach the same destination (unless, of course, you take the wrong one).

For contact, email me at: felixmcg27@gmail.com

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